A Long Awaited Reunion
Picking Up The Chicken Man
Finally a Family
St. Basil Cathedral
A US Citizen
How Cool Am I
Growing By The Day
I Finally Like My Bath
How Cute Am I!
Sunday, October 15, 2006
Some Pictures, Finally
A Long Awaited Reunion Picking Up The Chicken Man Finally a Family St. Basil Cathedral A US Citizen How Cool Am I Growing By The Day I Finally Like My Bath How Cute Am I!
2 Pounds And A 1/2 Inch, Oh My!
Logan has been home just over 2 weeks now, some days it still feels like a dream. He is gaining weight and getting taller by the day. At his Dr's appointment on Thursday we were told that he acts like a typical 18 month old, he has a delay in speech which we already new and he is still small but as the title says he gained 2 pounds and grew a 1/2 inch since we picked him up 3 weeks ago, WOW. I bought him 2 rompers when we got home and neither one of them fit anymore, it seems like he would be in some pain growing that fast.
We are still struggling with some attachment problems but I know everything will be just fine as I expected them. I am so glad that I did all of my research, no matter what anyone says, I know what is going on, I would be lost if I didn't. I think Logan might be experiencing some grief over his loss of his past care-givers and home, he seems to be pretty whiny the last couple of days, poor baby, I hope he can feel the love here. He pushes his boundaries more with me than Jeff but I tell him no and Daddy is a push over still, HA-HA. Jeff said I was going to be the push over, I kept telling him there was no way, he would be and it looks like I am right. I know Logan misses all of the kids that he use to play with everyday, when we go for our walks he just stares at the kids playing, he has played with a couple of the kids but I am still trying to limit him being around other woman. I want to take him to the mall and let him play in the play area soon, Jeff and I did last week and he had a blast.
Any ways, I have been trying to post pictures but blogger won't let me so I am going to try ad use my Moms computer, we'll see. Leave comments if you wish I love to hear what you have to say.
We are still struggling with some attachment problems but I know everything will be just fine as I expected them. I am so glad that I did all of my research, no matter what anyone says, I know what is going on, I would be lost if I didn't. I think Logan might be experiencing some grief over his loss of his past care-givers and home, he seems to be pretty whiny the last couple of days, poor baby, I hope he can feel the love here. He pushes his boundaries more with me than Jeff but I tell him no and Daddy is a push over still, HA-HA. Jeff said I was going to be the push over, I kept telling him there was no way, he would be and it looks like I am right. I know Logan misses all of the kids that he use to play with everyday, when we go for our walks he just stares at the kids playing, he has played with a couple of the kids but I am still trying to limit him being around other woman. I want to take him to the mall and let him play in the play area soon, Jeff and I did last week and he had a blast.
Any ways, I have been trying to post pictures but blogger won't let me so I am going to try ad use my Moms computer, we'll see. Leave comments if you wish I love to hear what you have to say.
Wednesday, October 4, 2006
10 Steps Back!
I learned the importance of everything I have been saying about attachment for the last couple of months last night. It is sooooooo important to limit the affection from others down to none for now. That means no touching, caressing, long eye contact or hugs, even if Logan wants it. It is very important for others to re-direct him back to me if he goes in for a hug. I sent out an email with some great advice about this but I think it may have been overlooked. When he try's to hug someone it is crucial for that person not to hug him back, you should look at Logan and tell him who you are and say something like Logan where's your Mama, oh there she is and she loves you very much and she takes good care of you, go give Mama a hug. I know this is a very hard thing to do but it is very important. There should be no engagement from others while he is being fed, getting his diaper change or when there is any other care taking going on. It is crucial to Logan's well being that all of this happen.
Last night we had a house full of people (this was our own fault) and our little chicken man was having a great time, he even went in for a couple of hugs, which under any circumstances should be given in return. I know this is asking a lot but it is very important and it is only for a limited time. Some may say this is a good thing but for now it is not. Logan has only been with us for less than a week and to him we are just 2 people taking care of him. He has had many women take care of him so to him I am just another and we need to change that. He needs to BOND with ME before any other women. So he got way to much caressing even when he tried to move away it was still done, he gave a hug and it was returned. I am upset about this because I have talked to and sent many emails about this out. I guess people really do not respect our wishes so we have decided that we WILL NOT be having any company for the next couple of weeks.
Logan has been doing great with us and forming and attachment to both Jeff and I but it has been less than a week since he became a family member. He really does not engage with others (besides kids) and that is a good thing, for now. Logan has a very strong will and like any other toddler he is testing his ground and trying to figure things out. Of course he is not like any other toddler who has been raised in a home since birth, he has very special needs as far as bonding and trust, just a week ago he was in his home, the only home he has ever known and we took him from all of that. I know what he has now is better but he does not know that, he is to young to understand. He does like Jeff and I and wants us to love on him, YAHOO!
OK, let me tell you why the title of 10 steps back. When he goes into a tantrum he still wants me to pick him up and love on him. I have rocked him to sleep every night with a bottle since we picked him up and last last few days he has started to stare into my eyes while this is happening. Well last night after getting all of this affection from another women, my son did not really want me, he wanted Jeff. That is OK but he has never acted that way before he has always wanted to come to me. Last night it was horrible, I started to rock him with his bottle and he drank it for about 2 minutes never looking at me once, he then proceeded to start beating himself in the head with his hands, kicking his feet and trying to get away from me. When I let him down he grabbed his blankie and curled up on the floor by himself and fell right to sleep. This is why it is so important for others to show him NO affection. I know that some people do not get this because they did not parent their children this way but their children was not adopted at 18 months from a Russian orphanage.
I ask you all to please RESPECT what I am asking and do not hug or caress him and limit your eye contact, Please! His best interest is the most important not anyone elses
Last night we had a house full of people (this was our own fault) and our little chicken man was having a great time, he even went in for a couple of hugs, which under any circumstances should be given in return. I know this is asking a lot but it is very important and it is only for a limited time. Some may say this is a good thing but for now it is not. Logan has only been with us for less than a week and to him we are just 2 people taking care of him. He has had many women take care of him so to him I am just another and we need to change that. He needs to BOND with ME before any other women. So he got way to much caressing even when he tried to move away it was still done, he gave a hug and it was returned. I am upset about this because I have talked to and sent many emails about this out. I guess people really do not respect our wishes so we have decided that we WILL NOT be having any company for the next couple of weeks.
Logan has been doing great with us and forming and attachment to both Jeff and I but it has been less than a week since he became a family member. He really does not engage with others (besides kids) and that is a good thing, for now. Logan has a very strong will and like any other toddler he is testing his ground and trying to figure things out. Of course he is not like any other toddler who has been raised in a home since birth, he has very special needs as far as bonding and trust, just a week ago he was in his home, the only home he has ever known and we took him from all of that. I know what he has now is better but he does not know that, he is to young to understand. He does like Jeff and I and wants us to love on him, YAHOO!
OK, let me tell you why the title of 10 steps back. When he goes into a tantrum he still wants me to pick him up and love on him. I have rocked him to sleep every night with a bottle since we picked him up and last last few days he has started to stare into my eyes while this is happening. Well last night after getting all of this affection from another women, my son did not really want me, he wanted Jeff. That is OK but he has never acted that way before he has always wanted to come to me. Last night it was horrible, I started to rock him with his bottle and he drank it for about 2 minutes never looking at me once, he then proceeded to start beating himself in the head with his hands, kicking his feet and trying to get away from me. When I let him down he grabbed his blankie and curled up on the floor by himself and fell right to sleep. This is why it is so important for others to show him NO affection. I know that some people do not get this because they did not parent their children this way but their children was not adopted at 18 months from a Russian orphanage.
I ask you all to please RESPECT what I am asking and do not hug or caress him and limit your eye contact, Please! His best interest is the most important not anyone elses
Saturday, September 30, 2006
Our Trip Home
Well, we made it! It took us 2 different planes and about 19 hours to get home but we all made it in one piece and with all of our luggage, amazing. We flew Delta this time and Jeff and I both preferred Northwest. The nice thing is, is that Delta and NW are sky partners so we got to transfer our miles to NW so we should get a free flight out of all the travel we have did over-seas now.
I think for everything our little chicken man has been through in the least week he did a great job on the planes. We had one melt down and that is when we started to descend into Atlanta coming from Moscow, the poor baby was asleep and his ears popped and he woke up scared and in pain. I did everything I could to get him to suck on a bottle, nook or his thumb but he was not having any part of it. He finally got startled by the kid behind us and took a deep breath and popped his ears open. I felt so bad not being able to comfort him but as soon as his ears opened up he fell right back to sleep. He fell asleep on the way home from the airport and slept the whole night from about 11 pm to 8:30 am.
We were on the plane and I was up waiting for the rest-room and I looked back and there was Jeff standing there holding Logan and I was overwhelmed with emotions. I couldn't believe there was my great husband holding our son. This man had taken us over 5000 miles to find our son. We have been trying to start a family for almost 5 years now and it was really something to see my family right in front of my eyes, it truly was a WONDERFUL SIGHT!
It is great to be home with him and it all feels so surreal still. I will update while he naps (if he naps) he does not like to nap, everything is so new and he does not want to miss anything. We have limited his toys and no TV, he gets overstimulated so easy because he had such a simple life before.
We are family!!!!!!!
I think for everything our little chicken man has been through in the least week he did a great job on the planes. We had one melt down and that is when we started to descend into Atlanta coming from Moscow, the poor baby was asleep and his ears popped and he woke up scared and in pain. I did everything I could to get him to suck on a bottle, nook or his thumb but he was not having any part of it. He finally got startled by the kid behind us and took a deep breath and popped his ears open. I felt so bad not being able to comfort him but as soon as his ears opened up he fell right back to sleep. He fell asleep on the way home from the airport and slept the whole night from about 11 pm to 8:30 am.
We were on the plane and I was up waiting for the rest-room and I looked back and there was Jeff standing there holding Logan and I was overwhelmed with emotions. I couldn't believe there was my great husband holding our son. This man had taken us over 5000 miles to find our son. We have been trying to start a family for almost 5 years now and it was really something to see my family right in front of my eyes, it truly was a WONDERFUL SIGHT!
It is great to be home with him and it all feels so surreal still. I will update while he naps (if he naps) he does not like to nap, everything is so new and he does not want to miss anything. We have limited his toys and no TV, he gets overstimulated so easy because he had such a simple life before.
We are family!!!!!!!
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Moscow, The Last Stop
We are in Moscow until Thursday the 28th. Today we had our last legal bit of paperwork to do at the American Embassy. Nothing that bad just a few signatures and we had to be sworn in. We had our appointment at the Embassy for 2PM with about 15 other families adopting from different agencies but because of the little chicken man they wanted us to come at 2:45 after the rush. It worked out to our benefit because we got right in signed our papers got Logan's entry papers and Visa and we were off, a total of about 25 minutes.
I was going through all of our documents and there really is a lot of cool stuff in there. We have a new Birth Certificate that has Jeff and I listed as the parents. We have a lot of info on his Birth-Mother for him, I think it is great just in case he wishes to find her one day. I know a lot of people ask questions about why he was given up for adoption and we have decided that is pretty personal information that only Logan and us have the right to know, so we will not be sharing that info with anyone. Also, it is funny to me when people say, were are his real parents, well that would be Jeff and I, the only REAL family that he will ever know. It takes more than just giving birth to be a parent, believe me I know a lot of people that have given birth and should not have custody of the child/ren.
Today before our Embassy visit the Chicken Man and I went for a walk while Daddy took a shower, Logan loves it outside and was getting very restless. He sits in his stroller just looking around and kicking his legs, he also gets very vocal. He does not say a lot, he has learned how to say Mama and Dada and yesterday he learned how to say hi. My mom wanted to say hi to him so I put the phone up to his ear and now he walks around putting his hand up to his ear and says eye (hi), it is just to darn cute. He will be strolling down the street just waiving hi and saying eye, love him!
After our Embassy visit the 3 of us walked down to K,L&J's and we took a stroll down Old Arbat street. It is really cool, a lot of local artist, musicians and shops and of course out of all of the great restaurants all of us Americans wanted McDonald's, there is nothing like a quarter pounder w/cheese to make you feel at home again :). The guys went into this store where Daddy found his boy a Russian hockey jersey and this lady came walking out telling Kim and I congratulations on our adoptions, she said she knows that it is a difficult thing and she was very happy for us, we were very taken back by this because this is not the normal feeling around here. Who knows maybe she once placed a child for adoption but she was very excited for us, it really made both of us feel great. It is strange here nothing is kept cold, even the milk and yogurt can be bought warm, ugh, that's just nasty. Tomorrow we have our last day here and no appointments so we are going to take a walk to Red Square to get some pictures of Logan, I just want to let him run around the park on some grass, I cannot wait to see the look on his face when he touches it for the first time, of course it is nothing like the carpet his Daddy keeps at home but it will do for now.
We have really been trying not to over-stimulate him, which is not easy to do he has had such a structured life and very little activity so I am sure just walking down these busy streets are a lot for him. We have kept his toys to just a few board books, stacking cups and a musical toy, he loves music. The T.V. and radio have been pretty much off. We are having some poop problems so tonight we changed his diet to some very blan things, oatmeal or rice cereal mixed w/apple sauce, banana, Cheerios and he is taking some soy formula, no more apples juice for him, I know he will be upset about this because he loves his juice (even though it really is mostly water), I pray it works.
I was going through all of our documents and there really is a lot of cool stuff in there. We have a new Birth Certificate that has Jeff and I listed as the parents. We have a lot of info on his Birth-Mother for him, I think it is great just in case he wishes to find her one day. I know a lot of people ask questions about why he was given up for adoption and we have decided that is pretty personal information that only Logan and us have the right to know, so we will not be sharing that info with anyone. Also, it is funny to me when people say, were are his real parents, well that would be Jeff and I, the only REAL family that he will ever know. It takes more than just giving birth to be a parent, believe me I know a lot of people that have given birth and should not have custody of the child/ren.
Today before our Embassy visit the Chicken Man and I went for a walk while Daddy took a shower, Logan loves it outside and was getting very restless. He sits in his stroller just looking around and kicking his legs, he also gets very vocal. He does not say a lot, he has learned how to say Mama and Dada and yesterday he learned how to say hi. My mom wanted to say hi to him so I put the phone up to his ear and now he walks around putting his hand up to his ear and says eye (hi), it is just to darn cute. He will be strolling down the street just waiving hi and saying eye, love him!
After our Embassy visit the 3 of us walked down to K,L&J's and we took a stroll down Old Arbat street. It is really cool, a lot of local artist, musicians and shops and of course out of all of the great restaurants all of us Americans wanted McDonald's, there is nothing like a quarter pounder w/cheese to make you feel at home again :). The guys went into this store where Daddy found his boy a Russian hockey jersey and this lady came walking out telling Kim and I congratulations on our adoptions, she said she knows that it is a difficult thing and she was very happy for us, we were very taken back by this because this is not the normal feeling around here. Who knows maybe she once placed a child for adoption but she was very excited for us, it really made both of us feel great. It is strange here nothing is kept cold, even the milk and yogurt can be bought warm, ugh, that's just nasty. Tomorrow we have our last day here and no appointments so we are going to take a walk to Red Square to get some pictures of Logan, I just want to let him run around the park on some grass, I cannot wait to see the look on his face when he touches it for the first time, of course it is nothing like the carpet his Daddy keeps at home but it will do for now.
We have really been trying not to over-stimulate him, which is not easy to do he has had such a structured life and very little activity so I am sure just walking down these busy streets are a lot for him. We have kept his toys to just a few board books, stacking cups and a musical toy, he loves music. The T.V. and radio have been pretty much off. We are having some poop problems so tonight we changed his diet to some very blan things, oatmeal or rice cereal mixed w/apple sauce, banana, Cheerios and he is taking some soy formula, no more apples juice for him, I know he will be upset about this because he loves his juice (even though it really is mostly water), I pray it works.
Monday, September 25, 2006
Little Chicken Man
Poor baby, our little guy has developed the Chicken Pox. We had been told that there was an outbreak at the baby-house but had not seen any children with the Chicken Pox. We did get very lucky to get him out of the baby-house before he developed a rash or we would not have been aloud to take him. I guess they put the children in a 21-day quarantine, could you imagine, Jeff and I being pronounced his parents and then not being able to take him for 3 more weeks. I think we would have died, we would have had to leave Russia and come back for a 3rd trip, YIKES!
We are heading back to Moscow on Sunday and are supposed to do our medical exams on Monday. I think we may have to wait until Weds because they are not going to allow us to take him out of the country with the poxs. My Mom called us and she looked them up on the Internet, she said they are actually only contagious for the 2 days before the rash and only if you touch an oozing blister after that, I never knew that it was an air-born illness. Thank God I packed the Caladryl, I am not sure why but I am sure glad I did. I am bummed because we have to keep him inside and away from Jackson, we really wanted to let them play together but we do not want to get him sick.
Well, I got thrown into motherhood with a sick baby and I think Jeff and I are doing OK. Despite him not feeling very well and being taken away from everything he knows he did give us some smiles and laughs. He ate well, but don’t let anyone tell you an orphan will eat anything he tried everything but he did not care for the Apple Cinnamon oatmeal I brought but ate up the meat and potatoes baby food I bought here. He is still on pretty much all pureed food so we will stick with that until we get home. He did not gorge and stopped eating once he was full, good thing because I have no idea how much to feed him. J
He played with some toys and of course got a little over-stimulated so Mommy (that would be me J) picked him up and took the toys away and we just talked well, I talked and he listened, he is not very vocal but I am sure having a mommy that talks as much as I do will change that. I rocked him to sleep and he took a nap for about 2 hours. Now bedtime was a little different. He of course was scared and really did not want to go in the playpen to sleep, he wanted to just lay on me or sleep in the bed next to me, I let him fall a sleep on me then I tried to move him and he woke up, he did finally fall to sleep hard enough that I got him in the playpen and that is were he still is. I put him down about 9:30 and it is 7:15 so he is doing pretty well. He sleeps like a Tornado, he moves around so much, just like his Daddy.
I still cannot believe we have our baby, someone pinch me, I think I may be dreaming!
We are heading back to Moscow on Sunday and are supposed to do our medical exams on Monday. I think we may have to wait until Weds because they are not going to allow us to take him out of the country with the poxs. My Mom called us and she looked them up on the Internet, she said they are actually only contagious for the 2 days before the rash and only if you touch an oozing blister after that, I never knew that it was an air-born illness. Thank God I packed the Caladryl, I am not sure why but I am sure glad I did. I am bummed because we have to keep him inside and away from Jackson, we really wanted to let them play together but we do not want to get him sick.
Well, I got thrown into motherhood with a sick baby and I think Jeff and I are doing OK. Despite him not feeling very well and being taken away from everything he knows he did give us some smiles and laughs. He ate well, but don’t let anyone tell you an orphan will eat anything he tried everything but he did not care for the Apple Cinnamon oatmeal I brought but ate up the meat and potatoes baby food I bought here. He is still on pretty much all pureed food so we will stick with that until we get home. He did not gorge and stopped eating once he was full, good thing because I have no idea how much to feed him. J
He played with some toys and of course got a little over-stimulated so Mommy (that would be me J) picked him up and took the toys away and we just talked well, I talked and he listened, he is not very vocal but I am sure having a mommy that talks as much as I do will change that. I rocked him to sleep and he took a nap for about 2 hours. Now bedtime was a little different. He of course was scared and really did not want to go in the playpen to sleep, he wanted to just lay on me or sleep in the bed next to me, I let him fall a sleep on me then I tried to move him and he woke up, he did finally fall to sleep hard enough that I got him in the playpen and that is were he still is. I put him down about 9:30 and it is 7:15 so he is doing pretty well. He sleeps like a Tornado, he moves around so much, just like his Daddy.
I still cannot believe we have our baby, someone pinch me, I think I may be dreaming!
Sunday, September 24, 2006
After suffering from what I thought was anxiety for 2 days it turns out I had the flu and I was down until the day we left, I spent the last 3 days before we left for Russia in bed. I had things that had to be done like packing our clothes, last minute things we needed for our trip. I did manage to get most of them done but I didn’t get the house cleaned like I wanted to, oh well, it could have been worse. I did forget a few things but nothing of importance more just for convenience. I wanted to bring some movies to pass the time but I forgot my DVD case that was lying right next to my suitcases. I forgot panty-hose to wear with my skirt for court. It could have been a lot worse, at least I remembered everything that I wanted to bring for Logan beside the lovie I bought for him a while back that I have been sleeping with.
It was funny when we were checking in at the airport in Detroit we started talking to these older women in line in front of us and they asked if we were going for a vacation or work and Jeff told them we needed to pick someone up to fill our stroller. One of them got it right away and the other it took her a second but it was very funny, leave it to my witty husband J.
We met up with Kim and Lance in Kemerovo on Wednesday morning, we did see them for about 15 minutes in Moscow but they had to take a different airline to Kemerovo because Aeroflot was full. We had thought we would meet up with them in New York and fly to Moscow but the ended up getting a direct flight from Atlanta. WOW, that flight from New York to Moscow was soooooo long, Jeff and I decided we really liked flying to Amsterdam having a short lay-over and then on to Moscow it really just breaks the flight up nice 11 hours straight is really yucky and on the way home it is going to be like 13, YIKES!
When we landed in Kemerovo on Weds. morning our translator Svetlana was at the airport waiting for us and Kim and Lance came in about 30 minutes behind us so we just waited for them. While waiting I started asking questions about when we will go and see our boys, we had hoped that same day because our flights came in so early but we just were not sure. Svetlana said not until either after court on Thursday or Friday morning if court took to long. Well there was no way that we had just traveled that long and not seen them for 11 weeks that we wanted to wait until Friday so I started to beg to please take us today. Well she pulled it off, THANKS, Svetlana!!!!!!
On Wednesday afternoon they picked us up and we drove for 3 hours to go see our boys. Last time we came to meet Logan we stayed in Novokuznetsk, this time we had to stay in Kemerovo because that is where court is and it is a long drive. Novo is a city in the state of Kemerovo, like Detroit is a city in the state of Michigan. When we got to the baby-house after a very bumpy ride we just could not wait to see them. They brought Jack in first, that is the K & Ls son, he is just a cutie, of course I was dying to see Logan and a few seconds later they opened the door and there he stood holding the finger of his care taker. It was great to see him walking by himself. Poor baby, he took one look at us and got all scared, like who the heck are all of these people. He started to cry so I just picked him up and loved on him, after a few seconds he stopped crying, he knows that in the baby-house crying does not get you any where so why bother, well we hope that changes fast.
Dr. Lubmilla only let us spend about an hour with them because she knows it is a long drive back and she wanted us fresh for court Thursday morning. None of us cared at least we were with our sons and able to love on them for a few minutes, 11 weeks is a very long time to not see your baby. Logan didn’t seem to be feeling very well but he warmed up to us much faster than last time. Once I started tapping on my chest with his hand and saying Mama a light turned on and I think he remembered me, after that he was smiling and laughing very easily. He is so darn cute. I think he may have lost a few pounds since our last visit, I know once they learn to walk they usually loose a few and I think maybe the Chicken Pox may have gotten him also, poor baby.
Our visit with the boys went fast but it sure was great to hold them, the 6 hour round trip drive, 16 hours in air, 14 hours of layovers and the 12 hour time change seems like nothing, he is definitely worth every once of jet lag. J
Ready For Court?
All we could do was be our selves and try to be as honest as possible and it worked. We had court on Thursday September 21st at 10:00 AM along with K&L. Of course our agency didn’t care who went first so the only logical thing to do was flip a coin. We both wanted to get it done and over with, you see, both of our families have been trying to adopt for 2 years now and this was it, it was going to be over after court. Jeff flipped, Lance called and they won, bummer for us but there court proceedings lasted a whole 25 minutes and they were pronounced the legal parents of their son and then it was our turn. It has been so wonderful being here with them, we met them on trip one.
Kim and I had chatted a few times online and made plans to meet up for dinner in Moscow on our way out of Russia as they were coming in. We had a feeling we would be traveling back together and that is exactly what has happened. Kim and I have talked on the phone at least once a week since we got home and I know we have built a lifelong friendship, besides our boys are from the same place and it will be nice for them to be able to share that growing up.
We walked in nervous as hell, although we we’re well prepared by Svetlana, the outcome of our families future was in a judges hands who we could not understand, Svetlana did an awesome job of translating everything for us. The courtroom consisted of the judge, a prosecutor, the court reporter and the social worker we met on our first trip that both of our families have affectionately nicknamed Stinky, J she actually is a very nice Russian woman with some really bad BO and a lot of gold teeth, we are told in Russia that is a sign of power, I would rather not have the power and stick with the white ones. J
Any ways, court was quick and painless, it lasted about 20-25 minutes and they pronounced Jeff and I the legal parents of Logan Vladimir Jarema. They waived the
10- day waiting period because of a Chicken Pox outbreak at the baby-house. What does that mean? Well, Jeff and I get to go pick up Logan first thing in the morning on Friday along with K&L. Ours and our sons life is going to be forever changed at about 10:00 am on Friday, September 22, 2006.
Look, there’s our lucky number 22 again.
It was funny when we were checking in at the airport in Detroit we started talking to these older women in line in front of us and they asked if we were going for a vacation or work and Jeff told them we needed to pick someone up to fill our stroller. One of them got it right away and the other it took her a second but it was very funny, leave it to my witty husband J.
We met up with Kim and Lance in Kemerovo on Wednesday morning, we did see them for about 15 minutes in Moscow but they had to take a different airline to Kemerovo because Aeroflot was full. We had thought we would meet up with them in New York and fly to Moscow but the ended up getting a direct flight from Atlanta. WOW, that flight from New York to Moscow was soooooo long, Jeff and I decided we really liked flying to Amsterdam having a short lay-over and then on to Moscow it really just breaks the flight up nice 11 hours straight is really yucky and on the way home it is going to be like 13, YIKES!
When we landed in Kemerovo on Weds. morning our translator Svetlana was at the airport waiting for us and Kim and Lance came in about 30 minutes behind us so we just waited for them. While waiting I started asking questions about when we will go and see our boys, we had hoped that same day because our flights came in so early but we just were not sure. Svetlana said not until either after court on Thursday or Friday morning if court took to long. Well there was no way that we had just traveled that long and not seen them for 11 weeks that we wanted to wait until Friday so I started to beg to please take us today. Well she pulled it off, THANKS, Svetlana!!!!!!
On Wednesday afternoon they picked us up and we drove for 3 hours to go see our boys. Last time we came to meet Logan we stayed in Novokuznetsk, this time we had to stay in Kemerovo because that is where court is and it is a long drive. Novo is a city in the state of Kemerovo, like Detroit is a city in the state of Michigan. When we got to the baby-house after a very bumpy ride we just could not wait to see them. They brought Jack in first, that is the K & Ls son, he is just a cutie, of course I was dying to see Logan and a few seconds later they opened the door and there he stood holding the finger of his care taker. It was great to see him walking by himself. Poor baby, he took one look at us and got all scared, like who the heck are all of these people. He started to cry so I just picked him up and loved on him, after a few seconds he stopped crying, he knows that in the baby-house crying does not get you any where so why bother, well we hope that changes fast.
Dr. Lubmilla only let us spend about an hour with them because she knows it is a long drive back and she wanted us fresh for court Thursday morning. None of us cared at least we were with our sons and able to love on them for a few minutes, 11 weeks is a very long time to not see your baby. Logan didn’t seem to be feeling very well but he warmed up to us much faster than last time. Once I started tapping on my chest with his hand and saying Mama a light turned on and I think he remembered me, after that he was smiling and laughing very easily. He is so darn cute. I think he may have lost a few pounds since our last visit, I know once they learn to walk they usually loose a few and I think maybe the Chicken Pox may have gotten him also, poor baby.
Our visit with the boys went fast but it sure was great to hold them, the 6 hour round trip drive, 16 hours in air, 14 hours of layovers and the 12 hour time change seems like nothing, he is definitely worth every once of jet lag. J
Ready For Court?
All we could do was be our selves and try to be as honest as possible and it worked. We had court on Thursday September 21st at 10:00 AM along with K&L. Of course our agency didn’t care who went first so the only logical thing to do was flip a coin. We both wanted to get it done and over with, you see, both of our families have been trying to adopt for 2 years now and this was it, it was going to be over after court. Jeff flipped, Lance called and they won, bummer for us but there court proceedings lasted a whole 25 minutes and they were pronounced the legal parents of their son and then it was our turn. It has been so wonderful being here with them, we met them on trip one.
Kim and I had chatted a few times online and made plans to meet up for dinner in Moscow on our way out of Russia as they were coming in. We had a feeling we would be traveling back together and that is exactly what has happened. Kim and I have talked on the phone at least once a week since we got home and I know we have built a lifelong friendship, besides our boys are from the same place and it will be nice for them to be able to share that growing up.
We walked in nervous as hell, although we we’re well prepared by Svetlana, the outcome of our families future was in a judges hands who we could not understand, Svetlana did an awesome job of translating everything for us. The courtroom consisted of the judge, a prosecutor, the court reporter and the social worker we met on our first trip that both of our families have affectionately nicknamed Stinky, J she actually is a very nice Russian woman with some really bad BO and a lot of gold teeth, we are told in Russia that is a sign of power, I would rather not have the power and stick with the white ones. J
Any ways, court was quick and painless, it lasted about 20-25 minutes and they pronounced Jeff and I the legal parents of Logan Vladimir Jarema. They waived the
10- day waiting period because of a Chicken Pox outbreak at the baby-house. What does that mean? Well, Jeff and I get to go pick up Logan first thing in the morning on Friday along with K&L. Ours and our sons life is going to be forever changed at about 10:00 am on Friday, September 22, 2006.
Look, there’s our lucky number 22 again.
Friday, September 15, 2006
Leaving On A Jet Plane!!!!!!!
I can't believe it we finally got the call and so here the story goes.
I had just went to bed and about 10 minutes later I heard the phone ringing at 1:00 am I seen a 415 area code and I new either it was good or very bad. Well it was GREAT, Elina was on the line telling me that our release letter has arrived and she asked if we could be in Russia for a court date on the 21st, I said of September and she said yes so I replied, of course, yes we would move heaven and earth to be there to get our son. Well that is only a week away and in order for us to make it we would have to leave by Monday. On Thursday September 21st Jeff and I will be the proud parents of Logan Vladimir Jarema, DOB March 13, 2005. I wish I could attach a couple of photo's but it is against Russian law so I will wait just a few more days.
I could not fall a sleep so I started making calls to the airlines and got our tickets book. There were still Visa's, airline tickets needed in Russia and a hotel/apartment. I got it all done, by 6:30 pm I had all of our stuff booked Passports in the mail to get our Visa's. We did an urgent Visa and they are being shipped Fed Ex so please Fed Ex don't screw anything up. I just got our air tickets in the mail so that is all set now but please pray that our Passports are back on Saturday.
Of course I was so tired, I had only slept from about 5 am to 7:10 am. I took a sleeping pill at about 6:30 Thursday night and slept from 7:00 pm until 5:00am Wednesday morning and the race was on again. I have to do laundry and get everything ready for our son and us, we will be gone about 10 days. Thank God I did get most of the house ready for him while in my nesting stage (the last 4 1/2 years, LOL). I will try and update our blog while in Russia but we may have our hands full with our adorable little guy.
We leave Detroit on Monday September 18th arrive in Kemerovo, Russia on Wednesday the 20th at 5:50 am. I think we will get to go see Logan that day and then we have court on the 21st. I pray they waive the 10 day waiting period so we get out of there on time if not we may not be back until sometime in October. As of now we should be home on September 28th. Everyone please say prayers that our 10 days gets waived and we can pick Logan up right after court.
Jeff and I have been through so much tyring to have a baby, I just cannot believe we are really going to be parents, WOW. Did I mention just how adorable he is, if not he is just the most beautiful baby I have ever seen :)
I had just went to bed and about 10 minutes later I heard the phone ringing at 1:00 am I seen a 415 area code and I new either it was good or very bad. Well it was GREAT, Elina was on the line telling me that our release letter has arrived and she asked if we could be in Russia for a court date on the 21st, I said of September and she said yes so I replied, of course, yes we would move heaven and earth to be there to get our son. Well that is only a week away and in order for us to make it we would have to leave by Monday. On Thursday September 21st Jeff and I will be the proud parents of Logan Vladimir Jarema, DOB March 13, 2005. I wish I could attach a couple of photo's but it is against Russian law so I will wait just a few more days.
I could not fall a sleep so I started making calls to the airlines and got our tickets book. There were still Visa's, airline tickets needed in Russia and a hotel/apartment. I got it all done, by 6:30 pm I had all of our stuff booked Passports in the mail to get our Visa's. We did an urgent Visa and they are being shipped Fed Ex so please Fed Ex don't screw anything up. I just got our air tickets in the mail so that is all set now but please pray that our Passports are back on Saturday.
Of course I was so tired, I had only slept from about 5 am to 7:10 am. I took a sleeping pill at about 6:30 Thursday night and slept from 7:00 pm until 5:00am Wednesday morning and the race was on again. I have to do laundry and get everything ready for our son and us, we will be gone about 10 days. Thank God I did get most of the house ready for him while in my nesting stage (the last 4 1/2 years, LOL). I will try and update our blog while in Russia but we may have our hands full with our adorable little guy.
We leave Detroit on Monday September 18th arrive in Kemerovo, Russia on Wednesday the 20th at 5:50 am. I think we will get to go see Logan that day and then we have court on the 21st. I pray they waive the 10 day waiting period so we get out of there on time if not we may not be back until sometime in October. As of now we should be home on September 28th. Everyone please say prayers that our 10 days gets waived and we can pick Logan up right after court.
Jeff and I have been through so much tyring to have a baby, I just cannot believe we are really going to be parents, WOW. Did I mention just how adorable he is, if not he is just the most beautiful baby I have ever seen :)
Monday, September 4, 2006
OK, I know I have not posted in a while but it's because not much has been going on. Jeff and I are both moody and really want to go get Logan. It has been 8 weeks since we signed those papers petitioning the court for the adoption and it feels like there is no end in sight. I was told at the begging of August not to expect court until September and now of course it's September and I was told most likely not until October. I am not sure how much more of the waiting I can take, I just wish our baby was home with us getting all the love and nourishment he needs. I just wish they could give us a court date even if it is not for 6 more weeks, at least we would know something, this not knowing is for the birds:(
Ally, at our agency asked me to DHL (I know not UPS but UPS does not go to Russia) the last of our Dossier over to Kemerovo, they have started to translate our documents so that is good and I really think our letter will be back in the next week. The only thing they need from us is our medical, we had to wait to last minute because it is only good for 3 months, so please pray hard that they do not expire because if they do that means it would be like 5 months after our first visit and I will seriously have to be put in a rubber room to bounce off of some walls for a while if it takes that long for us to bring our baby home. This is all so unfair for the children to have to sit there and wait for their families to come back and bring them home, how is this for the best interest of the children, have someone come and love you for a couple of days and then not see them again for OH LETS SAY 4 MONTHS.
We met a couple in Moscow, Kim and Lance who are adopting from the same baby-house and they had one document that has to go also so we are splitting the cost, which is nice because it is so darn expensive to ship over-sea's. Kim and I have become friends and try and talk once a week, we know exactly what the other is going through, we are at the same point in our journey, waiting for court. They went to Russia to meet their son Jackson as Jeff and I left the country. I really hope and pray that we all will be traveling together, most likely we will.
Any ways, that is the last that I heard, not to expect court until October, it has to be then, if not we will fall into the Holidays and we probably would not get to go back until after the first of the year and I know my heart or mind could not take that. As soon as I know something I will post it. I hope everyone had a great Holiday weekend, until next time.
Ally, at our agency asked me to DHL (I know not UPS but UPS does not go to Russia) the last of our Dossier over to Kemerovo, they have started to translate our documents so that is good and I really think our letter will be back in the next week. The only thing they need from us is our medical, we had to wait to last minute because it is only good for 3 months, so please pray hard that they do not expire because if they do that means it would be like 5 months after our first visit and I will seriously have to be put in a rubber room to bounce off of some walls for a while if it takes that long for us to bring our baby home. This is all so unfair for the children to have to sit there and wait for their families to come back and bring them home, how is this for the best interest of the children, have someone come and love you for a couple of days and then not see them again for OH LETS SAY 4 MONTHS.
We met a couple in Moscow, Kim and Lance who are adopting from the same baby-house and they had one document that has to go also so we are splitting the cost, which is nice because it is so darn expensive to ship over-sea's. Kim and I have become friends and try and talk once a week, we know exactly what the other is going through, we are at the same point in our journey, waiting for court. They went to Russia to meet their son Jackson as Jeff and I left the country. I really hope and pray that we all will be traveling together, most likely we will.
Any ways, that is the last that I heard, not to expect court until October, it has to be then, if not we will fall into the Holidays and we probably would not get to go back until after the first of the year and I know my heart or mind could not take that. As soon as I know something I will post it. I hope everyone had a great Holiday weekend, until next time.
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
"Easing the Transition from Institutional to Family Life"
I have been following another couples blog as they prepare to bring their children home from Russia and I found this great link on there. http://breeze4.umn.edu/p54438371 (you will have to copy and paste this one)
It is from the University of Minnesota, they have a clinic that specializes in IA, Jeff and I planned on using their service to evaluate our referral once we got to Russia if we felt it was necessary but Logan was perfect so there was no need.
It really helps explain the difference of a baby raised in a family compared to an institutional setting, things that one would never think. It is very educational and eye opening, they have a lot of great articles on their site, you should check it out.
It is from the University of Minnesota, they have a clinic that specializes in IA, Jeff and I planned on using their service to evaluate our referral once we got to Russia if we felt it was necessary but Logan was perfect so there was no need.
It really helps explain the difference of a baby raised in a family compared to an institutional setting, things that one would never think. It is very educational and eye opening, they have a lot of great articles on their site, you should check it out.
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Darn Squirrels!!!!!!!!
Nice, all the corn in our garden was eaten by those darn cute squirrels. It looks so funny to see the corn on the stalk, shucked down with not one kernel left on the cob, poor Jeff he was really looking forward to the corn. This was the first year I planted it and obviously it is going to be the last. I did manage to save 2 ears and Jeff said they tasted excellent :)
As far as the adoption goes, no news yet, EERRRRRR. I hope soon, I am not sure how much longer we can hold out.
We miss you Logan and cannot wait to bring you home!
Monday, August 14, 2006
Do's & Don'ts
I found Logans Dr. today, YEAH, this had been becoming a task finding someone with some IA experience. I had interviewed a Dr. and I just wasn't sure about her, she did not have any experience with IA but she was very nice and did some research about Russia, impressive. The Dr. I went to today was great, she new a lot about what we may face, she asked if I have read any books about attachment, I told her yes of course, we talked about attachment issues most because I really do not have any health concerns about Logan. Dr B assured me that I was right on about our plans and told me that it is very important to introduce him to new people, places and things slowly and that we should not allow anyone to hold him until he was securely attached to Jeff and I first. I told her that was our plan for at least 6 weeks and she recommend 3 months, we will just have to take Logans clues after 6 weeks and go from there. 3 months seems awfully long to me but whatever it takes for him is what we will do.
This goes along with my post yesterday about attaching and bonding. It really gives some good advice.
Do
1. Offer household help (running errands, preparing meals that can go right from the freezer to the oven, etc.) so the mother can spend more time holding the child.
2. Trust the mother's instincts. Even a first time mother may notice subtle symptoms that well-meaning family and friends attribute to "normal" behavior.
3. Accept that attachment issues are difficult for anyone outside of the mother to see and understand.
4. Be supportive even if you think everything looks fine to you.
5. Allow the parents to be the center of the baby's world. One grandfather, when greeting his grandson, immediately turns him back to his mom and says positive statements about his good mommy.
6. Tell the baby every time you see him what a good/loving/safe mommy he has.
7. When the parents need someone to care for the baby for a night out, offer to babysit in the child's home. (After the child has been home for a substantial period of time.)
8. As hard as it may be for you, abide by the requests of the parents. Even if the baby looks like he really wants to be with Grandma, for example, he needs to have a strong attachment to his parents first. Something as simple as passing the baby from one person to another or allowing others, even grandparents, to hold a baby who is not "attached" can make the attachment process that much longer and harder. Some parents have had to refrain from seeing certain family members or friends because they did not respect the parents' requests.
9. Accept that parenting children who are at-risk for or who suffer from attachment issues goes against traditional parenting methods and beliefs. Parenting methods that work for many children can be detrimental to a child with attachment issues. 10. Remember that there is often a honeymoon period after the child arrives. Many babies do not show signs of grief, distress, or anxiety until months after they come home. If the parents are taking precautions, they are smart and should be commended and supported!
DON'T
1. Assume an infant is too young to suffer from emotional issues related to attachment. Babies are not immune.
2. Underestimate a new mother's instincts that something isn't right.
3. Judge the mother's parenting abilities. What looks like spoiling or coddling may be exactly what the child needs to overcome a serious attachment disorder. Parenting methods that work for many children can be detrimental to a child with attachment issues.
4. Make excuses for the child's behaviors or try to make the mother feel better by calling certain behaviors "normal". For example, many children who suffer from attachment issues may be labeled strong-willed by well-meaning family members. While being strong-willed can be seen as a positive personality trait, this type of behavior in an attachment-impaired child may signify problems.
5. Accuse the mother of being overly sensitive or neurotic. She is in a position to see subtle symptoms as no one else can.
6. Take it personally if asked to step back so the parents can help their child heal and form a healthy and secure attachment. You may be asked not to hold the baby for more than a minute. This is not meant to hurt you. It is meant to help prove to the baby who his mommy and daddy are. Up until now the child's experience has been that mommies are replaceable. Allowing people to hold the baby before he has accepted his forever mommy and daddy are can be detrimental to the attachment process.
7. Put your own timeframes on how long attachment should take. One mother was hurt when she was chastised by a relative who couldn't understand...after all, the baby had been home six months. It could take weeks, months, even years. Every child is different.
8. Offer traditional parenting advice. Some well-meaning family members will tell a new mother not to pick the baby up every time he cries because it will spoil him. A child who is at-risk or who suffers from attachment issues must be picked up every single time he cries. He needs consistent reinforcement that this mommy/daddy will always take care of him and always keep him safe.
9. Fall into the appearance trap. Some babies/toddlers with attachment issues can put on a great show to those outside of the mother/father. What you see is not always a true picture of the child. Even babies as young as 6-months-old are capable of “putting on a good face” in public.
10. Lose hope. With the right kind of parenting and therapy, a child with attachment issues can learn to trust and have healthy relationships. But it does take a lot of work and a good understanding of what these children need.
This goes along with my post yesterday about attaching and bonding. It really gives some good advice.
Do
1. Offer household help (running errands, preparing meals that can go right from the freezer to the oven, etc.) so the mother can spend more time holding the child.
2. Trust the mother's instincts. Even a first time mother may notice subtle symptoms that well-meaning family and friends attribute to "normal" behavior.
3. Accept that attachment issues are difficult for anyone outside of the mother to see and understand.
4. Be supportive even if you think everything looks fine to you.
5. Allow the parents to be the center of the baby's world. One grandfather, when greeting his grandson, immediately turns him back to his mom and says positive statements about his good mommy.
6. Tell the baby every time you see him what a good/loving/safe mommy he has.
7. When the parents need someone to care for the baby for a night out, offer to babysit in the child's home. (After the child has been home for a substantial period of time.)
8. As hard as it may be for you, abide by the requests of the parents. Even if the baby looks like he really wants to be with Grandma, for example, he needs to have a strong attachment to his parents first. Something as simple as passing the baby from one person to another or allowing others, even grandparents, to hold a baby who is not "attached" can make the attachment process that much longer and harder. Some parents have had to refrain from seeing certain family members or friends because they did not respect the parents' requests.
9. Accept that parenting children who are at-risk for or who suffer from attachment issues goes against traditional parenting methods and beliefs. Parenting methods that work for many children can be detrimental to a child with attachment issues. 10. Remember that there is often a honeymoon period after the child arrives. Many babies do not show signs of grief, distress, or anxiety until months after they come home. If the parents are taking precautions, they are smart and should be commended and supported!
DON'T
1. Assume an infant is too young to suffer from emotional issues related to attachment. Babies are not immune.
2. Underestimate a new mother's instincts that something isn't right.
3. Judge the mother's parenting abilities. What looks like spoiling or coddling may be exactly what the child needs to overcome a serious attachment disorder. Parenting methods that work for many children can be detrimental to a child with attachment issues.
4. Make excuses for the child's behaviors or try to make the mother feel better by calling certain behaviors "normal". For example, many children who suffer from attachment issues may be labeled strong-willed by well-meaning family members. While being strong-willed can be seen as a positive personality trait, this type of behavior in an attachment-impaired child may signify problems.
5. Accuse the mother of being overly sensitive or neurotic. She is in a position to see subtle symptoms as no one else can.
6. Take it personally if asked to step back so the parents can help their child heal and form a healthy and secure attachment. You may be asked not to hold the baby for more than a minute. This is not meant to hurt you. It is meant to help prove to the baby who his mommy and daddy are. Up until now the child's experience has been that mommies are replaceable. Allowing people to hold the baby before he has accepted his forever mommy and daddy are can be detrimental to the attachment process.
7. Put your own timeframes on how long attachment should take. One mother was hurt when she was chastised by a relative who couldn't understand...after all, the baby had been home six months. It could take weeks, months, even years. Every child is different.
8. Offer traditional parenting advice. Some well-meaning family members will tell a new mother not to pick the baby up every time he cries because it will spoil him. A child who is at-risk or who suffers from attachment issues must be picked up every single time he cries. He needs consistent reinforcement that this mommy/daddy will always take care of him and always keep him safe.
9. Fall into the appearance trap. Some babies/toddlers with attachment issues can put on a great show to those outside of the mother/father. What you see is not always a true picture of the child. Even babies as young as 6-months-old are capable of “putting on a good face” in public.
10. Lose hope. With the right kind of parenting and therapy, a child with attachment issues can learn to trust and have healthy relationships. But it does take a lot of work and a good understanding of what these children need.
Sunday, August 13, 2006
Attachment and Bonding
I have been doing a lot of reading on attachment and bonding. I know some people do not agree with what we will be doing and that is OK, everyone is entitled to their opinion. I do hope you will support us no matter how you feel. I feel unless you have done some research or have adopted a toddler from an orphanage you will have a hard time understanding where we are coming from, that is why I have put this together, to help you. I know some of these things may seem extreme but that is OK if Logan will benefit from it, after all his needs are the most important.
Any ways, I have taken some excerpts from some books, web-sites and articles that I have read on attachment and bonding, 2 of my favorite books are
The Weaver Craft, Toddler adoption and
Attachment in Adoption, by Deborah D Gray
Here is a link to a fabulous web-site (one of many but this one is my favorite)
www.a4everfamily.org/
Here are the Excerpts, I hope you enjoy!
More and more adopted children are arriving home between the ages of one and three, and many of these toddlers have been wrenched from a familiar setting, are grieving the loss of a known caregiver, have experienced neglect or other forms of abuse, and/or have experienced multiple disruptions in their short lives. Toddlers who have resided in orphanages have typically experienced both environmental impoverishment and extremely inadequate care. Yet many professionals and adoptive families continue to believe that with just a little extra love, toddlers will quickly attach to their parents. While most adopted toddlers do eventually become strongly attached to their parents, most toddler adoptions present significant challenges.
First and foremost, keep in mind that while you have spent months, perhaps years, preparing your minds and hearts to welcome this child into your lives and become a family, your child has had little, if any, preparation for this incredibly huge and significant change in his or her life.
Your child was going along with the daily routine when one day, there was an introduction to this person who is to be their new Mom or Dad. Certainly nothing told to them in the way of preparation makes sense to them. Cognitively, most of them are too young to understand that they are getting a new family, and most of them have no reference point for "family." If you have lived all but the first month or two of your life in an orphanage, you have no real understanding of what family means. If your child is older and has memories of a dysfunctional or unstable family life, those memories won't be an accurate reflection of the new relationship ahead with your family.
Assume Your Child Has Attachment Issues:
Attachment issues can be connected to in-utero issues, disruptions in care giving, or multiple placements. Until you know otherwise, treat your child as if they have some level of attachment issues. Read Daniel Hughes' book, Building the Bonds of Attachment, and implement his strategies. In the end, if your child does not have attachment issues, you still will have facilitated a smooth integration into your home, and have secured a tight attachment between the two of you.
Your child may be coming home at 8 months, 18 months, or 28 months, but you will have to teach her/him how to be in a family, how to have social relationships.
Lastly, remember that this is a huge transition for your child. Everything – smells, foods, sounds, textures, language, faces, home and caretakers- is going to be radically different from what they are used to and recognize. Respect that by going slowly in introducing them to new things (people, places, toys, foods, etc.).
Please respect that the new family may require 4 to 6 weeks of alone time for their new schedules to take place. The child has to learn to seek out Mom and Dad for comfort before anyone else and this will take some time, it will not happen over night.
Children who have never had a one-on-one relationship with a single dependable caretaker may have a harder time attaching. Children raised by shift workers in an orphanage for example, have probably never had an attachment experience. Such children and their parents will face some challenges to attaching and those challenges may require special kinds of responses and support from you.
Prepare Family and Friends
When the baby comes home, it is highly recommended that you stick close to home and give the baby time to learn who Mommy and Daddy are before introducing other people. Your baby will need time to adjust to all of the new changes in his life before being overwhelmed by more unfamiliar people and places. Some babies show outward signs of anxiety and distress and others hide their feelings and bottle them up, leaving you to think they are easy-going, which may dramatically change at a later point.
Family and friends often want to help. The best kind of help is for others to run your errands, make dinner, and help with things around the house so that you are free to hold and bond with the baby. Limit holding to only Mother and Father for as long as possible.
Because of separation from birth mother and at least one foster mother, often the baby may be waiting for the next caregiver to come along. Once the baby has had time to adjust to all of the different changes and learn who Mom and Dad are, it is often helpful to not only use family members and friends to run errands, cook meals, help keep house, etc. but to help them to always redirect the baby back to Mommy and Daddy. This will help establish that these two people are the primary caregivers and the most important people in his life.
We taught all of our friends and family members whom we saw often to redirect his attention back to me immediately. Instead of allowing him to reach for Grandma and focus on her, Grandma would instead say "Hello, Johnny. I am your grandma. Where is your mommy? There she is. Mommy takes care of Johnny." And she would physically turn him around to go back to me. Exchanges like this continued for a long time until he knew I was his mommy and I was the one who took care of him. This is something that should be done from day one to help the baby learn and accept who Mommy and Daddy are and that they are forever. The baby cannot have a true relationship with anyone else until he has a healthy attachment with his mother and then father first.
FAQ:
Why can't other people hold my baby? So many people have waited for our child as long as we did. How can I hurt their feelings and not let them hold our baby?
While every child is different, here is our experience. Our son came off the plane happy, smiling, and laughing. He was a beautiful and happy sixth-month-old. We planned on not letting anyone hold the baby until we felt he adjusted. Well, he looked very well-adjusted from the get-go. Everything made him happy, and he took to everything so easily. Carseat, stroller, crib, new bottles, new formula, sleeping through the night…everything was so easy to introduce to him. What a happy, easy baby! And boy did he love people! It even said so in his pre-flight report. He seemed so happy and so willing to go to his grandparents, aunts, and uncles...a lot of people were waiting anxiously for this baby along with us. He seemed to adjust so well that we threw away the no holding policy and let close family members hold him earlier than we expected. He was not passed around nor held for long periods of time, but he was very loving and seemingly unaffected by the exposure to multiple family members.
As time went on our son distanced himself more and more from me, his mother, but still went happily to everyone else. I was his primary caretaker and doing a lot to promote bonding, but he avoided me more and more in ways that seemed innocent but didn't feel right to me. By the time he was home four months, he was not happy when I fed him, changed him, held him, gave him a bottle or anything that required me caring for him. By this time he completely ignored my existence and became a full-time "mommy shopper". He learned lots of interesting tricks to get the attention of other women. This child would have willingly left with a complete stranger from the grocery store and never would have looked back. Meanwhile, everyone else continued to see a baby who was so easy and sweet and good and loving...I did not see that child because when it was just the two of us, he avoided me and pushed me away. It was very painful, and I thought at first it had something to do with me not being a good mother...I know that is not the case now.
We had our son evaluated by an attachment therapist at ten months old. We learned that he was sensitive to the attachment process. Basically, he had the opinion of "been there, done that...mommies are not trustworthy, mommies leave, I will pick my own mommy...I am safe when I control who takes care of me." From that point on no one held our son until he was out of the avoidant stage. We trained family and friends to redirect our son back to me so I was no longer the mean lady taking him away from the loves of his life....any other woman. It took about three months of no one holding him and everyone redirecting him to Mommy, including Daddy. This was very hard on some family members who did not understand, but who would blame them? After all, he always looked happy to them. They didn't see what went on when potential mommies were not around.
Because my son was sensitive to the attachment process, allowing anyone, including the grandmothers who waited as anxiously as we did, to hold him for even a few minutes was confusing because he did not know or accept that I am his mommy and I am the one who will take care of him forever. It was a lot of hard work, really hard work that might not have been so hard had I stuck to the original plan. So even if they look happy and well-adjusted, try to remember, you are a stranger to this child. Not all children will react like my son, but since we don't know for sure--and remember it was a few months before our son began to push me away--I highly recommend that you put the baby's emotional health before the feelings of family members who do not live with you. (a. 6mo, FC)
I am hoping not to offend anyone -- just wanting to share our experiences with no holding. We have three children adopted from Korea. With our first two, we did very little reading about attachment and thought we would just love our children to pieces and all would be well. Our first two arrived at 4 1/2 months of age. My husband is from a large family; they love to pass the baby and believe the child should be content and snuggle with each one. This is what our two sons experienced soon after their arrival - - one struggled and cried and the other seemed indifferent. I felt sad and sick after each visit.
With our third adoption, our daughter was 6 1/2 months at arrival. Before her arrival, we read about and researched attachment. I asked our social worker about no holding for six weeks. She said she had seen wonderful transitions with those who had done this. With the loss and uncertainty our children have experienced before coming to us, not allowing others to hold our child made sense. Before our daughter's arrival, we informed family and friends that we would be the only ones to hold our daughter for six weeks. Because we had allowed our first two to be held, we explained that our daughter was older and we felt we needed to do this to help with her adjustment and attachment. We knew some might not be accepting, yet it wasn't about what other people needed; this was what our child needed.
Our daughter's adjustment has been remarkable in comparison to our sons'. We can't know if this was due to no holding initially, personality, or the other attachment methods we have implemented. Our daughter was never anxious and upset when others visited during those first weeks. Our sons were. My seventy-year-old father was so struck by the difference in adjustment with our third child, he remarked that maybe we shouldn't be so anxious to let others hold our daughter after six weeks! (a. 4.5mo, 4.5mo, 6.5mo, FC)
Any ways, I have taken some excerpts from some books, web-sites and articles that I have read on attachment and bonding, 2 of my favorite books are
The Weaver Craft, Toddler adoption and
Attachment in Adoption, by Deborah D Gray
Here is a link to a fabulous web-site (one of many but this one is my favorite)
www.a4everfamily.org/
Here are the Excerpts, I hope you enjoy!
More and more adopted children are arriving home between the ages of one and three, and many of these toddlers have been wrenched from a familiar setting, are grieving the loss of a known caregiver, have experienced neglect or other forms of abuse, and/or have experienced multiple disruptions in their short lives. Toddlers who have resided in orphanages have typically experienced both environmental impoverishment and extremely inadequate care. Yet many professionals and adoptive families continue to believe that with just a little extra love, toddlers will quickly attach to their parents. While most adopted toddlers do eventually become strongly attached to their parents, most toddler adoptions present significant challenges.
First and foremost, keep in mind that while you have spent months, perhaps years, preparing your minds and hearts to welcome this child into your lives and become a family, your child has had little, if any, preparation for this incredibly huge and significant change in his or her life.
Your child was going along with the daily routine when one day, there was an introduction to this person who is to be their new Mom or Dad. Certainly nothing told to them in the way of preparation makes sense to them. Cognitively, most of them are too young to understand that they are getting a new family, and most of them have no reference point for "family." If you have lived all but the first month or two of your life in an orphanage, you have no real understanding of what family means. If your child is older and has memories of a dysfunctional or unstable family life, those memories won't be an accurate reflection of the new relationship ahead with your family.
Assume Your Child Has Attachment Issues:
Attachment issues can be connected to in-utero issues, disruptions in care giving, or multiple placements. Until you know otherwise, treat your child as if they have some level of attachment issues. Read Daniel Hughes' book, Building the Bonds of Attachment, and implement his strategies. In the end, if your child does not have attachment issues, you still will have facilitated a smooth integration into your home, and have secured a tight attachment between the two of you.
Your child may be coming home at 8 months, 18 months, or 28 months, but you will have to teach her/him how to be in a family, how to have social relationships.
Lastly, remember that this is a huge transition for your child. Everything – smells, foods, sounds, textures, language, faces, home and caretakers- is going to be radically different from what they are used to and recognize. Respect that by going slowly in introducing them to new things (people, places, toys, foods, etc.).
Please respect that the new family may require 4 to 6 weeks of alone time for their new schedules to take place. The child has to learn to seek out Mom and Dad for comfort before anyone else and this will take some time, it will not happen over night.
Children who have never had a one-on-one relationship with a single dependable caretaker may have a harder time attaching. Children raised by shift workers in an orphanage for example, have probably never had an attachment experience. Such children and their parents will face some challenges to attaching and those challenges may require special kinds of responses and support from you.
Prepare Family and Friends
When the baby comes home, it is highly recommended that you stick close to home and give the baby time to learn who Mommy and Daddy are before introducing other people. Your baby will need time to adjust to all of the new changes in his life before being overwhelmed by more unfamiliar people and places. Some babies show outward signs of anxiety and distress and others hide their feelings and bottle them up, leaving you to think they are easy-going, which may dramatically change at a later point.
Family and friends often want to help. The best kind of help is for others to run your errands, make dinner, and help with things around the house so that you are free to hold and bond with the baby. Limit holding to only Mother and Father for as long as possible.
Because of separation from birth mother and at least one foster mother, often the baby may be waiting for the next caregiver to come along. Once the baby has had time to adjust to all of the different changes and learn who Mom and Dad are, it is often helpful to not only use family members and friends to run errands, cook meals, help keep house, etc. but to help them to always redirect the baby back to Mommy and Daddy. This will help establish that these two people are the primary caregivers and the most important people in his life.
We taught all of our friends and family members whom we saw often to redirect his attention back to me immediately. Instead of allowing him to reach for Grandma and focus on her, Grandma would instead say "Hello, Johnny. I am your grandma. Where is your mommy? There she is. Mommy takes care of Johnny." And she would physically turn him around to go back to me. Exchanges like this continued for a long time until he knew I was his mommy and I was the one who took care of him. This is something that should be done from day one to help the baby learn and accept who Mommy and Daddy are and that they are forever. The baby cannot have a true relationship with anyone else until he has a healthy attachment with his mother and then father first.
FAQ:
Why can't other people hold my baby? So many people have waited for our child as long as we did. How can I hurt their feelings and not let them hold our baby?
While every child is different, here is our experience. Our son came off the plane happy, smiling, and laughing. He was a beautiful and happy sixth-month-old. We planned on not letting anyone hold the baby until we felt he adjusted. Well, he looked very well-adjusted from the get-go. Everything made him happy, and he took to everything so easily. Carseat, stroller, crib, new bottles, new formula, sleeping through the night…everything was so easy to introduce to him. What a happy, easy baby! And boy did he love people! It even said so in his pre-flight report. He seemed so happy and so willing to go to his grandparents, aunts, and uncles...a lot of people were waiting anxiously for this baby along with us. He seemed to adjust so well that we threw away the no holding policy and let close family members hold him earlier than we expected. He was not passed around nor held for long periods of time, but he was very loving and seemingly unaffected by the exposure to multiple family members.
As time went on our son distanced himself more and more from me, his mother, but still went happily to everyone else. I was his primary caretaker and doing a lot to promote bonding, but he avoided me more and more in ways that seemed innocent but didn't feel right to me. By the time he was home four months, he was not happy when I fed him, changed him, held him, gave him a bottle or anything that required me caring for him. By this time he completely ignored my existence and became a full-time "mommy shopper". He learned lots of interesting tricks to get the attention of other women. This child would have willingly left with a complete stranger from the grocery store and never would have looked back. Meanwhile, everyone else continued to see a baby who was so easy and sweet and good and loving...I did not see that child because when it was just the two of us, he avoided me and pushed me away. It was very painful, and I thought at first it had something to do with me not being a good mother...I know that is not the case now.
We had our son evaluated by an attachment therapist at ten months old. We learned that he was sensitive to the attachment process. Basically, he had the opinion of "been there, done that...mommies are not trustworthy, mommies leave, I will pick my own mommy...I am safe when I control who takes care of me." From that point on no one held our son until he was out of the avoidant stage. We trained family and friends to redirect our son back to me so I was no longer the mean lady taking him away from the loves of his life....any other woman. It took about three months of no one holding him and everyone redirecting him to Mommy, including Daddy. This was very hard on some family members who did not understand, but who would blame them? After all, he always looked happy to them. They didn't see what went on when potential mommies were not around.
Because my son was sensitive to the attachment process, allowing anyone, including the grandmothers who waited as anxiously as we did, to hold him for even a few minutes was confusing because he did not know or accept that I am his mommy and I am the one who will take care of him forever. It was a lot of hard work, really hard work that might not have been so hard had I stuck to the original plan. So even if they look happy and well-adjusted, try to remember, you are a stranger to this child. Not all children will react like my son, but since we don't know for sure--and remember it was a few months before our son began to push me away--I highly recommend that you put the baby's emotional health before the feelings of family members who do not live with you. (a. 6mo, FC)
I am hoping not to offend anyone -- just wanting to share our experiences with no holding. We have three children adopted from Korea. With our first two, we did very little reading about attachment and thought we would just love our children to pieces and all would be well. Our first two arrived at 4 1/2 months of age. My husband is from a large family; they love to pass the baby and believe the child should be content and snuggle with each one. This is what our two sons experienced soon after their arrival - - one struggled and cried and the other seemed indifferent. I felt sad and sick after each visit.
With our third adoption, our daughter was 6 1/2 months at arrival. Before her arrival, we read about and researched attachment. I asked our social worker about no holding for six weeks. She said she had seen wonderful transitions with those who had done this. With the loss and uncertainty our children have experienced before coming to us, not allowing others to hold our child made sense. Before our daughter's arrival, we informed family and friends that we would be the only ones to hold our daughter for six weeks. Because we had allowed our first two to be held, we explained that our daughter was older and we felt we needed to do this to help with her adjustment and attachment. We knew some might not be accepting, yet it wasn't about what other people needed; this was what our child needed.
Our daughter's adjustment has been remarkable in comparison to our sons'. We can't know if this was due to no holding initially, personality, or the other attachment methods we have implemented. Our daughter was never anxious and upset when others visited during those first weeks. Our sons were. My seventy-year-old father was so struck by the difference in adjustment with our third child, he remarked that maybe we shouldn't be so anxious to let others hold our daughter after six weeks! (a. 4.5mo, 4.5mo, 6.5mo, FC)
Friday, August 11, 2006
37 Days!
It's been 37 days since we met that adorable little guy and signed our petition to adopt him. Sometimes I'm not sure if people understand that I think of this boy as my son, not just a boy I hope to adopt. After what Jeff and I have went through I do not have on rose colored glasses and I know anything can happen but I love that baby and my heart aches for him everyday :)
We have been told not to expect our release letter and court date until September, I am holding on to that September is only 21 days away and of course anything can happen and it could come in August, who really knows. I am still hopeful for court the first of September. One good thing about the wait is that air prices have come down going into fall and we will probably save about $1000. Over the next couple of weeks I will be busy TODDLER proofing our house and doing a really good cleaning. I hope I can post a court date soon!
COME ON SEPTEMBER!!!!!!!
We have been told not to expect our release letter and court date until September, I am holding on to that September is only 21 days away and of course anything can happen and it could come in August, who really knows. I am still hopeful for court the first of September. One good thing about the wait is that air prices have come down going into fall and we will probably save about $1000. Over the next couple of weeks I will be busy TODDLER proofing our house and doing a really good cleaning. I hope I can post a court date soon!
COME ON SEPTEMBER!!!!!!!
Sunday, July 30, 2006
Saturday, July 29, 2006
A Few of My Favorite Comments
Here are a few of my favorite comments that people have said or say, I find them very strange. I thought I would address them here, please, no one take offense, I have just been bothered by these comments and I wanted to put it out there on how they make me feel, so here are a few of my favorites.
"Don't get attached to him until you get that court date" First of all it is way to late, I fell in Love the moment I touched him (actually the moment I saw his referral photo). I find that comment very strange, would one say to a pregnant women to not get attached until the baby is born because anything can happen, I DON"T THINK SO.
"After what happened to you guy's last time I cannot believe your doing this again" Would you say to a woman who had a miscarriage that you can't believe she would try again, NO, at least I HOPE NOT.
Another good one is "As soon as you get that baby home you are going to get pregnant because you'll be more relaxed and focused on something else" I really hope that does happen, it would be great but we have been trying to have a baby for 4 1/2 years and it hasn't happened yet. I will be very surprised if it does, I know that it has happened to many but ADOPTION DOES NOT CURE INFERTILITY, there is only a 5% chance of that happening, about the same as when we stopped our infertility treatments.
"What's the story with his real Mom" just because one gives birth does not make them a REAL MOM, We are his REAL parents and that is a very personal question that I feel only Logan has the right to know.
I know people do not mean any ill will and they are just concerned for us but
COME ON, think before you speak. This process is very trying, We need positive comments and support, instead of saying, I hope it works, change that comment to I know things are going to be just fine for you guys and if you can't muster that then please say NOTHING AT ALL.
I know a lot of people do not understand adoption but Jeff and I ARE PREGNANT, we are just not carrying our baby but he is VERY REAL and so is our love for him. We still have concerns (maybe even a little more) and cannot wait to have our baby home with us. It is as if I gave birth, spent a few days with him and now we are not allowed to see him for a couple of months. The waiting is getting a little harder every day, please say prayers that we will be re-united with him very soon.
"Don't get attached to him until you get that court date" First of all it is way to late, I fell in Love the moment I touched him (actually the moment I saw his referral photo). I find that comment very strange, would one say to a pregnant women to not get attached until the baby is born because anything can happen, I DON"T THINK SO.
"After what happened to you guy's last time I cannot believe your doing this again" Would you say to a woman who had a miscarriage that you can't believe she would try again, NO, at least I HOPE NOT.
Another good one is "As soon as you get that baby home you are going to get pregnant because you'll be more relaxed and focused on something else" I really hope that does happen, it would be great but we have been trying to have a baby for 4 1/2 years and it hasn't happened yet. I will be very surprised if it does, I know that it has happened to many but ADOPTION DOES NOT CURE INFERTILITY, there is only a 5% chance of that happening, about the same as when we stopped our infertility treatments.
"What's the story with his real Mom" just because one gives birth does not make them a REAL MOM, We are his REAL parents and that is a very personal question that I feel only Logan has the right to know.
I know people do not mean any ill will and they are just concerned for us but
COME ON, think before you speak. This process is very trying, We need positive comments and support, instead of saying, I hope it works, change that comment to I know things are going to be just fine for you guys and if you can't muster that then please say NOTHING AT ALL.
I know a lot of people do not understand adoption but Jeff and I ARE PREGNANT, we are just not carrying our baby but he is VERY REAL and so is our love for him. We still have concerns (maybe even a little more) and cannot wait to have our baby home with us. It is as if I gave birth, spent a few days with him and now we are not allowed to see him for a couple of months. The waiting is getting a little harder every day, please say prayers that we will be re-united with him very soon.
A Few Photo's
src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4229/2191/200/Kemerovo%20Map.jpg" border="0" alt="" />Our room in Novokuznetsk
These maps are great, if you look in the center of the map for Russia and go down to the south you will see Novokuznetsk.
23 days!
Well it's been 23 days since we met Logan and let me tell you every day is getting a little harder. I know that means we are 23 days closer to bringing him home but man is it hard. I talked to Kim (she is one of the families that we met in Moscow that are adopting with our agency) yesterday for close to 2 hours and I think we are pretty much feeling the same way, we want our boy's home. I told her I wanted to go and do missionary work at the orphanage and she said she's in, if only they would let us we would be gone tomorrow :)
I pray that God is going to give me the best B-day and anniversary gift ever and that is going to be our release letter and our court date. God hear our prayers and get us back to our son soon, AMEN!
I pray that God is going to give me the best B-day and anniversary gift ever and that is going to be our release letter and our court date. God hear our prayers and get us back to our son soon, AMEN!
Monday, July 24, 2006
I Miss Our Babies
OK, our 6-8 weeks are now down to 4-6 weeks, it sure has been a long 2 weeks. I hope these days start to pick up. I cannot believe it will be almost 2 months before we see him again :( Now that we have actually held our son in our arms the waiting is so much more difficult. I could watch our video every day, Logan is just perfect and we cannot wait to go and get him.
I have been keeping myself busy, I worked almost every day last week. I have went and bought a few rompers that will be perfect for our long journey home with Logan, snaps from head to toe. I got a really great deal on a cool Peg Pergo stroller that was on clearance. I was going to wait and buy a stroller until after we got home and just make it with the cheap umbrella stroller I got for travel but I just couldn't pass up the deal :). I bought a great baby sign-language book, I think that will really help Logan with the language barrier and be very good for his development. I also ordered a couple of books, one is on attachment skills and the other is for our friends and family to help them understand why it is so important to limit his care to just Jeff and I for a while. My friend Shannon described it the best she said "He (Logan) needs to seek Jeff and I out for help before anyone else".
I had all of these things that I wanted to do but of course when they brought Logan into the room all of my senses went looney. I wanted to trace his feet and look and see what size he was wearing and I didn't do any of it, so now it's a big guessing game. He is tall and lean so I am guessing between 12 & 18 month, I think 12 right now but by the time we get there maybe close to 18.
I miss Baylee also, it is really strange not having her meet me at the door when I get home or rubbing her head and giving her a kiss good-night.
I hope to be able to post good news within the next week or two. Please pray for us to go and get Logan soon.
I have been keeping myself busy, I worked almost every day last week. I have went and bought a few rompers that will be perfect for our long journey home with Logan, snaps from head to toe. I got a really great deal on a cool Peg Pergo stroller that was on clearance. I was going to wait and buy a stroller until after we got home and just make it with the cheap umbrella stroller I got for travel but I just couldn't pass up the deal :). I bought a great baby sign-language book, I think that will really help Logan with the language barrier and be very good for his development. I also ordered a couple of books, one is on attachment skills and the other is for our friends and family to help them understand why it is so important to limit his care to just Jeff and I for a while. My friend Shannon described it the best she said "He (Logan) needs to seek Jeff and I out for help before anyone else".
I had all of these things that I wanted to do but of course when they brought Logan into the room all of my senses went looney. I wanted to trace his feet and look and see what size he was wearing and I didn't do any of it, so now it's a big guessing game. He is tall and lean so I am guessing between 12 & 18 month, I think 12 right now but by the time we get there maybe close to 18.
I miss Baylee also, it is really strange not having her meet me at the door when I get home or rubbing her head and giving her a kiss good-night.
I hope to be able to post good news within the next week or two. Please pray for us to go and get Logan soon.
Sunday, July 16, 2006
July 9th, Back to the good old USA!
Our driver Dimitri showed up at 1:00 pm on Sunday the 9th to take us to the airport for our flight out of Moscow into Amsterdam where we would be staying the night to catch our flight back to Detroit on Monday the 10th. Wow, it sure was hard keeping all of these dates straight with the time changes and all of our layovers.
We stood in line to check into our flight and then through customs for about 2 hours. I was getting nervous that we would miss our flight. Customs at the SVO airport in Moscow is a joke, it's like the lines at Cedar Pointe, never ending. They had hundreds of people leaving to different parts of the world and about 7 people checking passports. There is a company that offers a VIP service kind of like a line-hopper at Disney, they cut you through to the front of the line. When we bring Logan home we may use this service, it is kind of expensive but I am sure it will be worth it. We did get through and had about 20 minutes to board and leave Moscow.
We didn't do much besides get a bite to eat in Amsterdam, I was just exhausted so I wanted to get some sleep. We left Moscow right on time just like all of our flights and we landed in Detroit about 10 minutes early. Thanks Tania for picking us up :)!
I have to give a shout out to Northwest and KLM, we got all of our luggage and all flights left and landed on time or a little early, WAY TO GO!
Please say a prayer that we get our court date to officially adopt Logan and bring him home soon, please pray for all of the children and families that are waiting also. I will keep updating as we find anything out. We think we should be going back by the end of August but as I have learned the hard way, this is International Adoption and anything goes.
We stood in line to check into our flight and then through customs for about 2 hours. I was getting nervous that we would miss our flight. Customs at the SVO airport in Moscow is a joke, it's like the lines at Cedar Pointe, never ending. They had hundreds of people leaving to different parts of the world and about 7 people checking passports. There is a company that offers a VIP service kind of like a line-hopper at Disney, they cut you through to the front of the line. When we bring Logan home we may use this service, it is kind of expensive but I am sure it will be worth it. We did get through and had about 20 minutes to board and leave Moscow.
We didn't do much besides get a bite to eat in Amsterdam, I was just exhausted so I wanted to get some sleep. We left Moscow right on time just like all of our flights and we landed in Detroit about 10 minutes early. Thanks Tania for picking us up :)!
I have to give a shout out to Northwest and KLM, we got all of our luggage and all flights left and landed on time or a little early, WAY TO GO!
Please say a prayer that we get our court date to officially adopt Logan and bring him home soon, please pray for all of the children and families that are waiting also. I will keep updating as we find anything out. We think we should be going back by the end of August but as I have learned the hard way, this is International Adoption and anything goes.
July 8th, Moscow Here We Come!
We woke up and got ready to go to the Airport and of course when we walked down-stairs there was Alyona and Alex right on time again. They were great! We got to the airport, if that is what you want to call it. I think it really is just a small building little security and a run way, pretty scary. I suggest if you are ever in Novokuznetsk airport to not use the bathroom, it is really disgusting.
Jeff and I boarded that little tube of a stink-fest and had our 4 hour journey back to Moscow, thank God we had all 3 seats so we had a bit more room on the way back. We had the whole day in Moscow before we departed for Amsterdam and then back to the US.
We got to Moscow and of course we were met by our translator and driver, they took us to our hotel, The Courtyard Marriott, a new hotel and it was very nice. We ended up running into another family that was adopting with a different agency in the lobby at check in. I had chatted with Danette a few times on line and it was funny to run into her and her husband Dave. We had plans with another family from our agency to meet for dinner at 6:30 so we invited them also.
We decided we would go to McDonald's for some American food, it was so tasty.
We then walked around Red Square, took some great pictures and did a lot of people watching. It is funny, women in Russia wear 4 inch stilettos to walk around town, OUCH! It was great to watch them try and walk on cobble-stone streets, LOL. We decided after a couple of hours to go back to our hotel and get some rest, well Jeff took a nap I went and worked out, that really helped take some stress away.
We met Danette & Dave and Kim & Lance for dinner at 6:30. We just stayed at the hotel and talked for an hour before dinner, shared some pictures and stories then went to the Flat Iron Grill in our hotel. We all had burgers and the guys had a couple of beers, I think they were all happy the other one wanted a beer :). It was really nice meeting all of them, we had a great time. Thanks guys!
Here are a few pictures from Moscow.
Jeff and I boarded that little tube of a stink-fest and had our 4 hour journey back to Moscow, thank God we had all 3 seats so we had a bit more room on the way back. We had the whole day in Moscow before we departed for Amsterdam and then back to the US.
We got to Moscow and of course we were met by our translator and driver, they took us to our hotel, The Courtyard Marriott, a new hotel and it was very nice. We ended up running into another family that was adopting with a different agency in the lobby at check in. I had chatted with Danette a few times on line and it was funny to run into her and her husband Dave. We had plans with another family from our agency to meet for dinner at 6:30 so we invited them also.
We decided we would go to McDonald's for some American food, it was so tasty.
We then walked around Red Square, took some great pictures and did a lot of people watching. It is funny, women in Russia wear 4 inch stilettos to walk around town, OUCH! It was great to watch them try and walk on cobble-stone streets, LOL. We decided after a couple of hours to go back to our hotel and get some rest, well Jeff took a nap I went and worked out, that really helped take some stress away.
We met Danette & Dave and Kim & Lance for dinner at 6:30. We just stayed at the hotel and talked for an hour before dinner, shared some pictures and stories then went to the Flat Iron Grill in our hotel. We all had burgers and the guys had a couple of beers, I think they were all happy the other one wanted a beer :). It was really nice meeting all of them, we had a great time. Thanks guys!
Here are a few pictures from Moscow.
Logan's First Steps, July, 7th 2006
It was 4:30 am when Jeff and I woke up with so much excitement we were not able to go back to sleep so we just talked about our first meeting with Logan. We both felt that it went great and couldn't have gone any better. Logan is just beautiful and healthy. He is a little shy but at 16 months he should be Leary of us, after all we are complete strangers and I am sure we sounded funny talking to him in English :). I learned a few Russian words but boy is that a hard language to learn.
Our hotel was great we upgraded to a 3 room suite and all 3 rooms had air (we were definitely spoiling ourselves after that very rough 2 days of travel). Our other option was a shoe box with 2 single beds, we didn't want to go there.
Our hotel was nice, it had everything that we needed right in it, 2 different restaurants, internet, a casino, a hair salon and a place to purchase air line tickets. I would stay there again if we needed to, Hotel Novokuznetska.
Alyona told us that her and Alex would be there to pick us up at 9:00 am so we got ready went and had some breakfast then we went downstairs to wait for them and of course they were right on time. Our ride took about an hour to get to the baby-house so we talked with our translator and took some pictures and video along the way. The driving in Novokuznetsk is something I would never want to try and I consider myself a good driver. To say the least passing someone at 90 MPH with barely enough room is a common practice there, SCARY!
We got to the baby-house at 10:00 and they told us they had to wake Logan up so it would be a minute, it was actually about 15 but who's counting. They brought him in and he looked so tired, his beautiful blue eyes were a little puffy. I went to take him and he got a little upset, it took a whole 5 seconds for him to be OK. He really did not want to do anything, no playing, babbling or smiling so after about 45 minutes of that I decided I would get him up and see how his walking skills where.
Logan can stand up perfectly straight and has great balance but he did not even know his little legs could move. I started putting my feet under his and lifting them up, one foot in front of the other, he was so cute he kept looking down and looking in the mirror it was like he just couldn't believe that they moved. It took only about 5 minutes and he was holding on with only one hand. Jeff decided it was his turn to try and after about 2 times around the room our little guy was ready to let go and that he did, he let go of Jeff's finger and took his first 3 steps into my arms, AHHHHHH MOTHERHOOD, that is a moment in time I will never forget. He wanted to keep going so we let him he was up to about 30 steps by himself, this really broke him out of his shell.
Logan was getting very tired so Jeff picked him up and we started to play
peek-a-boo, he loved it, the video is wonderful. We have him laughing, smiling looking for me and loving every minute of it. He is such a love, he wants to cuddle and be held, something of course they really do not have the time to do with these babies. I guess the baby-house he is in there are 400 children looking for families from age 9 months to 4 years, I am thankful we found each other. Logan started to babble a lot, we have him saying DA-DA, Jeff thinks he said DADA I think he said Da-Da, DA means yes in Russian and I was saying MA-MA to him so I think he was just agreeing with me ;). He started to tap on me when I was saying MA-MA and tap on himself when I said Logan, I was really working with him on that. The video we have is great and I think I could watch it everyday.
Of course we finally got him to open up to us and our visit was over, it was very hard to say good-bye to him but that means we are that much closer to court and bringing our baby home. We gave his care taker some disposable cameras to take pictures of him for us while we are gone, a photo album we made for him so hopefully he will recognize us when we return for him and we also asked them to please start calling him Logan instead of V, all of which they were happy to do. We gave our baby a lot of kisses and then they whisked him away.
The rest of the day we spent eating, checking out the city a little bit and getting some rest. I packed all of our stuff so we were ready to go in the morning. Our flight left Novokuznetsk at 7:00 am so Alyona and Alex were going to be there at 6:20 to pick us up. Of course we sent more pictures home and let everyone know how it had went. What an exciting day it was, my gosh our baby's first steps :). We just couldn't believe we had such a wonderful experience this time. All of translators and drivers were fantastic, the director of the baby-house and the lady from the MOE really care about these kids, what a difference from last time we traveled to meet a baby. Thank you Baylee for watching out for your Mom and Dad.
Our hotel was great we upgraded to a 3 room suite and all 3 rooms had air (we were definitely spoiling ourselves after that very rough 2 days of travel). Our other option was a shoe box with 2 single beds, we didn't want to go there.
Our hotel was nice, it had everything that we needed right in it, 2 different restaurants, internet, a casino, a hair salon and a place to purchase air line tickets. I would stay there again if we needed to, Hotel Novokuznetska.Alyona told us that her and Alex would be there to pick us up at 9:00 am so we got ready went and had some breakfast then we went downstairs to wait for them and of course they were right on time. Our ride took about an hour to get to the baby-house so we talked with our translator and took some pictures and video along the way. The driving in Novokuznetsk is something I would never want to try and I consider myself a good driver. To say the least passing someone at 90 MPH with barely enough room is a common practice there, SCARY!
We got to the baby-house at 10:00 and they told us they had to wake Logan up so it would be a minute, it was actually about 15 but who's counting. They brought him in and he looked so tired, his beautiful blue eyes were a little puffy. I went to take him and he got a little upset, it took a whole 5 seconds for him to be OK. He really did not want to do anything, no playing, babbling or smiling so after about 45 minutes of that I decided I would get him up and see how his walking skills where.
Logan can stand up perfectly straight and has great balance but he did not even know his little legs could move. I started putting my feet under his and lifting them up, one foot in front of the other, he was so cute he kept looking down and looking in the mirror it was like he just couldn't believe that they moved. It took only about 5 minutes and he was holding on with only one hand. Jeff decided it was his turn to try and after about 2 times around the room our little guy was ready to let go and that he did, he let go of Jeff's finger and took his first 3 steps into my arms, AHHHHHH MOTHERHOOD, that is a moment in time I will never forget. He wanted to keep going so we let him he was up to about 30 steps by himself, this really broke him out of his shell.
Logan was getting very tired so Jeff picked him up and we started to play
peek-a-boo, he loved it, the video is wonderful. We have him laughing, smiling looking for me and loving every minute of it. He is such a love, he wants to cuddle and be held, something of course they really do not have the time to do with these babies. I guess the baby-house he is in there are 400 children looking for families from age 9 months to 4 years, I am thankful we found each other. Logan started to babble a lot, we have him saying DA-DA, Jeff thinks he said DADA I think he said Da-Da, DA means yes in Russian and I was saying MA-MA to him so I think he was just agreeing with me ;). He started to tap on me when I was saying MA-MA and tap on himself when I said Logan, I was really working with him on that. The video we have is great and I think I could watch it everyday.
Of course we finally got him to open up to us and our visit was over, it was very hard to say good-bye to him but that means we are that much closer to court and bringing our baby home. We gave his care taker some disposable cameras to take pictures of him for us while we are gone, a photo album we made for him so hopefully he will recognize us when we return for him and we also asked them to please start calling him Logan instead of V, all of which they were happy to do. We gave our baby a lot of kisses and then they whisked him away.
The rest of the day we spent eating, checking out the city a little bit and getting some rest. I packed all of our stuff so we were ready to go in the morning. Our flight left Novokuznetsk at 7:00 am so Alyona and Alex were going to be there at 6:20 to pick us up. Of course we sent more pictures home and let everyone know how it had went. What an exciting day it was, my gosh our baby's first steps :). We just couldn't believe we had such a wonderful experience this time. All of translators and drivers were fantastic, the director of the baby-house and the lady from the MOE really care about these kids, what a difference from last time we traveled to meet a baby. Thank you Baylee for watching out for your Mom and Dad.
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
July, 4th, 5th, & 6th, A Long 3 Days!
We traveled out of Detroit to Novokuznetsk, Siberia, Russia on Tuesday July 4th and landed in Novo at 6:10 am on Thursday, July 6th. I figured it out today that it was a grand total from the time we left our house until we got to our hotel to sleep was 35 1/2 hours, WOW what a couple of days. I was so extremely emotionally drained that I wasn't sure I was going to make it but I took long deep breaths and focused on V. Jeff was great and kept telling me it had been so long and this was everything that we had worked at for 2 years and I could do it :) he's great. Jeff had a little bit of claustrophobia on our last plane ride to Novo but he pulled through like a champ. The Siberia Airlines Plane was a joke it was like a long skinny tube at least 90 degree's and you were just stuffed in there on top of each-other, not fun.
Our driver and translator in Moscow and Novo are wonderful. Oksana picked us up with our driver Dimitri and took us to a hotel in Moscow to take a shower and stretch out, we had a 7 hours lay-over there before we departed for Novo. It was the best thing in the world to be able to relax before getting on the 3rd plane ride, we had about 2 1/2 hours in the hotel before we had to leave for the next leg. Siberia Airlines was an experience in it's self. The airport in Novo was a small building where I had to pay 5 rubles to use the bathroom, my first Russian souvenir a receipt for the toilet, LOL.
Our Translator Alyona met us at the airport with our driver, Alex. Alex is a crazy driver but we made it, Thanks Alex. Alyona was wonderful and spoke very good English, we did not have any trouble understanding her. Alyona teaches English to adults mostly and some children. They took us to our hotel and then came back for us about 1 1/2 hours later to take us to meet V. When we got to the baby-house we had to wait about 30 minute for Dr. Lubmilla, she is the director of the baby-house and she really cares about these children. In the meantime the lady from the MOE was there and started telling us a little about V so when Lubmilla got there she only had to go over the medical with us. V is just perfect and healthy just typical Orphanage delays. He is like a bud waiting to bloom that will open once we get him home.
Dr Lubmilla got there and started going over V's medical right away, after about 10 minute of going over the medical the office door opened and they placed this little guy down in the middle of the room all by himself. He just stood there staring at all of us so I asked if I could go over and they all said of course. I walked over to V and started talking to him, he got a little upset so I picked him up and then he was fine. It was a moment I will never forget getting to hold OUR SON for the very first time. Jeff and I thought he was adorable in his referral photo but he is sooooooooooo much cuter in person.
They took us into a different room where we got to spend about 2 hours with him. He is so reserved and was scared at first but he did start to play with some of the toys we had brought for him. Alyona finally got him to smile almost at the end of our visit. It made me feel really good that when his care-taker came in for him he didn't want to leave my arms, AHHHHHH what a feeling, he just wants LOVE. Before we left they asked if we wanted to adopt him and we said "yes, of course". There were 2 other families that came while we were there one of them was Tracie and her husband who I have emailed back & forth a few times, it was nice to see her and the translator form Kemerovo. They would be able to take our paper's with them and they would go to the court on Friday so we signed away and sent them, that made us days closer to that court date.
We left the baby-house so excited and couldn't believe that we had just met our son who we decided to name Logan, so V is now Logan. It was all worth it, every last second spent trying to get to him. We were so exhausted so we stopped and got some water and pop, went back to our room and slept from 2:30 to 9 pm. When we got up we decided to go downstairs and take some pictures outside, went into the internet room in our hotel and sent some emails and pictures to our family. We went back to bed at about 12.
That was the end of our first day in Novo. I will write another post about our next visit later, I am still trying to recover from some jet-lag, so off to bed I go.
Our driver and translator in Moscow and Novo are wonderful. Oksana picked us up with our driver Dimitri and took us to a hotel in Moscow to take a shower and stretch out, we had a 7 hours lay-over there before we departed for Novo. It was the best thing in the world to be able to relax before getting on the 3rd plane ride, we had about 2 1/2 hours in the hotel before we had to leave for the next leg. Siberia Airlines was an experience in it's self. The airport in Novo was a small building where I had to pay 5 rubles to use the bathroom, my first Russian souvenir a receipt for the toilet, LOL.
Our Translator Alyona met us at the airport with our driver, Alex. Alex is a crazy driver but we made it, Thanks Alex. Alyona was wonderful and spoke very good English, we did not have any trouble understanding her. Alyona teaches English to adults mostly and some children. They took us to our hotel and then came back for us about 1 1/2 hours later to take us to meet V. When we got to the baby-house we had to wait about 30 minute for Dr. Lubmilla, she is the director of the baby-house and she really cares about these children. In the meantime the lady from the MOE was there and started telling us a little about V so when Lubmilla got there she only had to go over the medical with us. V is just perfect and healthy just typical Orphanage delays. He is like a bud waiting to bloom that will open once we get him home.
Dr Lubmilla got there and started going over V's medical right away, after about 10 minute of going over the medical the office door opened and they placed this little guy down in the middle of the room all by himself. He just stood there staring at all of us so I asked if I could go over and they all said of course. I walked over to V and started talking to him, he got a little upset so I picked him up and then he was fine. It was a moment I will never forget getting to hold OUR SON for the very first time. Jeff and I thought he was adorable in his referral photo but he is sooooooooooo much cuter in person.
They took us into a different room where we got to spend about 2 hours with him. He is so reserved and was scared at first but he did start to play with some of the toys we had brought for him. Alyona finally got him to smile almost at the end of our visit. It made me feel really good that when his care-taker came in for him he didn't want to leave my arms, AHHHHHH what a feeling, he just wants LOVE. Before we left they asked if we wanted to adopt him and we said "yes, of course". There were 2 other families that came while we were there one of them was Tracie and her husband who I have emailed back & forth a few times, it was nice to see her and the translator form Kemerovo. They would be able to take our paper's with them and they would go to the court on Friday so we signed away and sent them, that made us days closer to that court date.
We left the baby-house so excited and couldn't believe that we had just met our son who we decided to name Logan, so V is now Logan. It was all worth it, every last second spent trying to get to him. We were so exhausted so we stopped and got some water and pop, went back to our room and slept from 2:30 to 9 pm. When we got up we decided to go downstairs and take some pictures outside, went into the internet room in our hotel and sent some emails and pictures to our family. We went back to bed at about 12.
That was the end of our first day in Novo. I will write another post about our next visit later, I am still trying to recover from some jet-lag, so off to bed I go.
Sunday, July 9, 2006
July 4th, What a day!
Today I said farewell to the most beautiful, best dog in the world, my beloved Baylee, she was 13 ½ years old (85 in people years). Last night when I was dropping her off at my Mom’s she started to bleed so I took her to the emergency vet, they informed me that she had a ruptured tumor and they needed to operate. I got the call at about 12:30 that her surgery went well and she was recovering nicely, then this morning they called me back telling me that she had taken a turn for the worst but she was OK. Jeff said we should take a ride to see her just in case something happened while we were gone. We went to the vet and they took us into a room to tell us that just a minute before we got there she had passed away. This day is definitely bitter sweet we left on a plane at 4:05 pm to go meet V the little boy we hope to adopt and at the same time I cannot stop the tears for Baylee.
It always seems like nothing in my life ever comes easy, it seems like there is always a give and take. I know Jeff and I have a great life and Baylee was going to go sooner or later because of her age but gosh today of all days, I was not prepared for her parting us at all. When we got to my Moms you would have never known anything was ever wrong with her she was running around like a puppy but I guess her old heart could just not take the surgery and it was her turn to go, I just wish I could have seen her one last time before she left us.
I will always have a special place in my heart for her and fond memories, she truly was THE BEST DOG IN THE WORLD!
Monday, July 3, 2006
24 hours to go!
In 24 hours we will be driving to the airport to get on that long plane ride to go meet V. I cannot wait, the anxiety is getting to both of us a little. I cannot even begin to explain the feelings I am having, Love, stress, anxiety, excitement and the list can go on and on, 2 days with him is just not going to be enough. We will take lots of video and pictures to get us through the next couple of months until court and we can go and bring him home. I am still in AWWW that in just 3 days we will get to meet V, I cannot wait to hold him, I hope he likes us :).
We do have all day on Saturday to spend in Moscow, we have a room there and are going to try and do some sight-seeing. A couple of the places we are going to try and visit are Red Square, The Kremlin and St Basil Cathedral. I wonder if we will be able to do all of that in a day. We are going to meet another couple from our agency in Moscow for Dinner on Saturday night, they come in when we are leaving. They are going to meet a 9 month old little boy who is just a doll, I hope things go well for them. They have been trying to adopt almost as long as Jeff and I and have had a pretty miserable experience also.
Any ways, I am not going to say much more because I would just be rambling. I will try and update while in Moscow, if I can't I'll see you all when we get home.
We do have all day on Saturday to spend in Moscow, we have a room there and are going to try and do some sight-seeing. A couple of the places we are going to try and visit are Red Square, The Kremlin and St Basil Cathedral. I wonder if we will be able to do all of that in a day. We are going to meet another couple from our agency in Moscow for Dinner on Saturday night, they come in when we are leaving. They are going to meet a 9 month old little boy who is just a doll, I hope things go well for them. They have been trying to adopt almost as long as Jeff and I and have had a pretty miserable experience also.
Any ways, I am not going to say much more because I would just be rambling. I will try and update while in Moscow, if I can't I'll see you all when we get home.
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
We leave July 4th, YAHOO!!!!!!!
We have officially accepted V as our referral, he turned 15 months old on June 13th, my brother Darren's B-day. Our coordinator has just met him and she said he is just adorable, a little small but average size for his orphanage. Elina said he responded well, he didn't want anything to do with her (normal at that age) and then he warmed up to her and when she put him down he got very upset, I cannot wait to hold him :) I have been busy the last 2 days trying to get our flights and rooms booked, I have everything ready to go besides our in country air I am waiting to hear back from a couple of travel agents to see if they can get us a better deal then I found on our own, we'll see what they can do, if I do not hear back from them by tomorrow I will just book the flights myself I do not want to take the chance of the tickets selling out then everything would be messed up.
We leave on Tuesday, July 4th to go and meet him, this is going to be such a fast trip we land on the 5th, fly to our region the same day visit for 2 days, sign papers to petition the court for the adoption and fly back home on the 9th with an overnight stay in Amsterdam. Unfortunately we arrive early evening so we are not even going to be able to sight see, oh well maybe next time. It will be nice to be able to stretch out before that 8 hour flight back to the good old USA!
I pray that all goes well and we will get to adopt V. There is always the chance that a family member or a citizen of that country will come forward and adopt him before we get back for court. Jeff and I will do everything not to get attached after what happened last time but boy is it going to be hard after we get to hold him, right now I know anything can happen but it will be a totally different story once we meet him.
Any ways, I will try and update from over-seas but I am not sure how the internet will be, we'll have to wait and see.
We leave on Tuesday, July 4th to go and meet him, this is going to be such a fast trip we land on the 5th, fly to our region the same day visit for 2 days, sign papers to petition the court for the adoption and fly back home on the 9th with an overnight stay in Amsterdam. Unfortunately we arrive early evening so we are not even going to be able to sight see, oh well maybe next time. It will be nice to be able to stretch out before that 8 hour flight back to the good old USA!
I pray that all goes well and we will get to adopt V. There is always the chance that a family member or a citizen of that country will come forward and adopt him before we get back for court. Jeff and I will do everything not to get attached after what happened last time but boy is it going to be hard after we get to hold him, right now I know anything can happen but it will be a totally different story once we meet him.
Any ways, I will try and update from over-seas but I am not sure how the internet will be, we'll have to wait and see.
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Still Nothing, ERRRRRR
OK, I am getting a little PI--ED off, I am writing this today because it seems like when I write about something that's not going right just the opposite happens, so here's hoping it works.
Of course I got this info on these 2 children last week Tuesday and I was told they would try and get me updated info by the 12th (my coordinator told me that and her assistant told me the 14th)so we could make a decision on what referral we are going to accept. Well of course there time frames are off again, here it is Weds the 14th and still nothing. I really thought this agency was going to be the one and not going to jerk us around but I am starting to doubt that and that is not a good feeling. I understand they cannot control the government and things change with IA on a blink of an eye but come on, here it is June 14th and nothing. Don't forget we were told 1 to 2 months for a referral and it is going on 4. I do like our agency and they definitely care about the kids but I wish they would be better with the time frames they tell me. We thought we would be getting ready for trip 2 to bring our baby home and we still have no idea when trip 1 will be.
On another bad note, When I checked the air fare last week the day we got info on these 2 babies tickets were about $1600 for the last week of June first week of July, of course because I wanted to book our flight and get our visas and they told me no, tickets have sky rocketed between $2200 and $2800 until after 4th of July so it looks like no matter what we will have to wait until after that. It does not seem logical to pay an extra $700 a ticket, ERRRRRRRRR, that makes me mad. They told me from the beginning that after we accepted a referral we could travel right away so I still cannot figure out why they would not let me book our flight, I told them we were going to accept on of these referrals for sure.
Any ways, as soon as I hear something I will post again and let everyone know if we are having a BOY or a GIRL :).
Of course I got this info on these 2 children last week Tuesday and I was told they would try and get me updated info by the 12th (my coordinator told me that and her assistant told me the 14th)so we could make a decision on what referral we are going to accept. Well of course there time frames are off again, here it is Weds the 14th and still nothing. I really thought this agency was going to be the one and not going to jerk us around but I am starting to doubt that and that is not a good feeling. I understand they cannot control the government and things change with IA on a blink of an eye but come on, here it is June 14th and nothing. Don't forget we were told 1 to 2 months for a referral and it is going on 4. I do like our agency and they definitely care about the kids but I wish they would be better with the time frames they tell me. We thought we would be getting ready for trip 2 to bring our baby home and we still have no idea when trip 1 will be.
On another bad note, When I checked the air fare last week the day we got info on these 2 babies tickets were about $1600 for the last week of June first week of July, of course because I wanted to book our flight and get our visas and they told me no, tickets have sky rocketed between $2200 and $2800 until after 4th of July so it looks like no matter what we will have to wait until after that. It does not seem logical to pay an extra $700 a ticket, ERRRRRRRRR, that makes me mad. They told me from the beginning that after we accepted a referral we could travel right away so I still cannot figure out why they would not let me book our flight, I told them we were going to accept on of these referrals for sure.
Any ways, as soon as I hear something I will post again and let everyone know if we are having a BOY or a GIRL :).
Friday, June 9, 2006
A Referral at Last :) :) :) :)
WOW, well we got a little info on 2 different children a 15 month old little boy and an 11 month old baby girl, I was so excited when I saw his little face, is this really going to happen? Our information is limited and we are hoping that next week when our case worker gets to our region she will get updated pictures and some more medical. We are going to pick one of them (I am not sure how we will pick one over the other)and send the info and pictures to a Dr. that specializes in evaluating children adopted from over-seas. We got 5 pictures of this little guy and almost no medical and more medical but no pictures of the baby girl. I am going to call him V and her J, I cannot say to much about these referrals because I really do not know much but I am told we should know more by June 14th. I can tell you that V is adorable.
We hope to be able to travel by the end of the month, gosh that sure would be nice. We will go on 2 trips, trip one will be to go and meet our referral and if we feel this is the child that is meant to be with us then we will petition the court for adoption, it will be a short trip 5 to 7 days, mostly travel, ERRRRR. We will then come home and wait for a court date, it can be 4 weeks or 4 months we will never know until we get the call that we can go back and bring our baby home, YIPEE!!!!!!
I'll post as soon as I know more.
We hope to be able to travel by the end of the month, gosh that sure would be nice. We will go on 2 trips, trip one will be to go and meet our referral and if we feel this is the child that is meant to be with us then we will petition the court for adoption, it will be a short trip 5 to 7 days, mostly travel, ERRRRR. We will then come home and wait for a court date, it can be 4 weeks or 4 months we will never know until we get the call that we can go back and bring our baby home, YIPEE!!!!!!
I'll post as soon as I know more.
Friday, June 2, 2006
I Can't Believe It's Been A Year
It will be one year on Saturday, June 3rd that DH and I jumped on a jet plane headed for Kazakhstan to adopt 2 children, a beautiful 15 month old boy and an unknown baby girl, we tried for 10 months to get to them and finally we were leaving, I thought that day would never come, we were so excited.
26 hours of travel later we landed at 3:30AM to be met at the airport, driven to our apartment only to be told just before our coordinator left that our baby boy
was no longer available. It was so heartbreaking but I knew or at
least I thought God must have had a different baby that needed us
more and they would find that baby for us. Unfortunately for us our
agency had no idea what to do with us and was dishonest . I still can't figure out how they were going to find this baby girl for us when they didn't even have 1 baby for us let alone 2.
We flew to a different Region only to be told nothing was going to
happen there either so after a week in Kazakhstan in 2 different
regions we flew back to the US with broken hearts and no baby, it
was one of the saddest things in my life, a huge loss. This
excitement of finally being a Mother was gone, that baby who I thought of as my son was gone and boy did it hurt.
We later learned that this agency is known for "bait and switch" and
that they have been investigated 3 times by the DA, FBI and the
Attorney Generals office and are now being investigated again, this
not only happened to us but to 2 other couples, all of us within 4
months of each other and ever other couple we met or chatted with had
lost their referral. It's sad that our Government still allows this
man to do business.
Fast forward 1 year and here we are waiting for a referral and
getting excited about being parents again. It took us about 9 months
to get the courage up to trust someone (an agency) enough to try this
again but here we are praying this is the agency to help us unite with
our children. I have to believe that one day I will have
someone calling me MOMMY and the child(ren) that are meant to be a
part of our family was just not ready yet and we were in the wrong
place last year. I am a believer that everything happens for a reason
and sometimes we may not ever know why but there is a bigger plan.
26 hours of travel later we landed at 3:30AM to be met at the airport, driven to our apartment only to be told just before our coordinator left that our baby boy
was no longer available. It was so heartbreaking but I knew or at
least I thought God must have had a different baby that needed us
more and they would find that baby for us. Unfortunately for us our
agency had no idea what to do with us and was dishonest . I still can't figure out how they were going to find this baby girl for us when they didn't even have 1 baby for us let alone 2.
We flew to a different Region only to be told nothing was going to
happen there either so after a week in Kazakhstan in 2 different
regions we flew back to the US with broken hearts and no baby, it
was one of the saddest things in my life, a huge loss. This
excitement of finally being a Mother was gone, that baby who I thought of as my son was gone and boy did it hurt.
We later learned that this agency is known for "bait and switch" and
that they have been investigated 3 times by the DA, FBI and the
Attorney Generals office and are now being investigated again, this
not only happened to us but to 2 other couples, all of us within 4
months of each other and ever other couple we met or chatted with had
lost their referral. It's sad that our Government still allows this
man to do business.
Fast forward 1 year and here we are waiting for a referral and
getting excited about being parents again. It took us about 9 months
to get the courage up to trust someone (an agency) enough to try this
again but here we are praying this is the agency to help us unite with
our children. I have to believe that one day I will have
someone calling me MOMMY and the child(ren) that are meant to be a
part of our family was just not ready yet and we were in the wrong
place last year. I am a believer that everything happens for a reason
and sometimes we may not ever know why but there is a bigger plan.
Friday, May 26, 2006
Nothing New
Unfortunately I have nothing new to report. We had hoped we would have had a referral by now and have traveled and been back waiting for our second trip. I was told yesterday that the referral letters are coming and not to get upset. I really am not upset just a little disappointed. I was told that the internet is very slow there and sometimes it does not work at all (I am not sure if I believe this or not but we will find out when we finally get there). If there was one thing I learned last time around was that anything can and probably will happen in this crazy process plus nothing about having a baby has been easy for us so why should it start now. It's sad with all of the kids that need a home that it is so difficult to give them one.
Our case worker is over seas now trying to get things moving again. She is also checking on the summer camp that they have set up for families hoping to adopt and kids looking for a family. It is cool, they have this huge camp set up and families hoping to adopt went over seas to meet children and hopefully adopt them, I think it is very neat and I guess it is going very well, hopefully all of these children will find homes. It is for older kids that have a less likely chance of being adopted, that is the best thing about our agency they really care about the kids.
I pray everyday that God is going to bless us with a baby and hopefully soon. I hope next time I post I have some wonderful news to report.
Our case worker is over seas now trying to get things moving again. She is also checking on the summer camp that they have set up for families hoping to adopt and kids looking for a family. It is cool, they have this huge camp set up and families hoping to adopt went over seas to meet children and hopefully adopt them, I think it is very neat and I guess it is going very well, hopefully all of these children will find homes. It is for older kids that have a less likely chance of being adopted, that is the best thing about our agency they really care about the kids.
I pray everyday that God is going to bless us with a baby and hopefully soon. I hope next time I post I have some wonderful news to report.
Thursday, May 11, 2006
One Step Closer!
WOO WHO, we got our approval from our Government on Tuesday. I did call the office on Monday and the lady handling our case (Joy Thomas) would not even be nice and talk to me instead she sat in the background telling the lady I was on the phone with that she didn't take personal calls and told me her email. I was so mad, here this women has been harassing us for weeks about stupid stuff and now she won't even talk to me, first of all it was not a personal call, I am not her friend it was about business not when she got her hair done. So I ripped her off an email at 10:30 am on Monday, here it is Thursday night and the BI--H still has not responded to me. Nice to see my $685 is being well spent for this lady to sit around and do nothing. I wonder if she will ever respond, I won't hold my breath.
Ok enough of that, we still have not got a referral. I am getting a little frustrated but trying to remember that there are so many ups and downs with IA and we are after all dealing with a different country. Come on our own Government is a joke and take their sweet time doing things. I am still hoping by next week, we'll see.
Ok enough of that, we still have not got a referral. I am getting a little frustrated but trying to remember that there are so many ups and downs with IA and we are after all dealing with a different country. Come on our own Government is a joke and take their sweet time doing things. I am still hoping by next week, we'll see.
Thursday, May 4, 2006
Well Maybe!
OK, I do not want to get excited because I know what can happen but I was told that my agency should be getting some referrals on May 10th. I won't hold my breath but for the first time since we started round 2 of our adoption journey I was a little excited :) Maybe we will be able to travel by the end of the month after all. There are some Russian holidays taking place right now and we got caught up in them. I am going to do some research and find out what the celebration is for, I want to be able to teach our baby as much about their heritage as I can.
Unfortunately I have no new news about our approval from our government besides that it will be 3 month on May 7th since they cashed our check and that our fingerprints are now good for 2 less months. I will call on Monday if it is not here by then because they said do not contact our office unless it has been longer than 3 months(could they sound more like a snob) well on Monday it will be 3 months and 1 day. We applied Feb 3 (paper's in office)for our new approval, on March 26th our old approval expired there is no reason this is all taking so long and them harassing me about paper's that they already have, ERRRRRRRR it makes me mad!
Any ways, hopefully I will be able to write that we have a baby on the way!!!!!!
Unfortunately I have no new news about our approval from our government besides that it will be 3 month on May 7th since they cashed our check and that our fingerprints are now good for 2 less months. I will call on Monday if it is not here by then because they said do not contact our office unless it has been longer than 3 months(could they sound more like a snob) well on Monday it will be 3 months and 1 day. We applied Feb 3 (paper's in office)for our new approval, on March 26th our old approval expired there is no reason this is all taking so long and them harassing me about paper's that they already have, ERRRRRRRR it makes me mad!
Any ways, hopefully I will be able to write that we have a baby on the way!!!!!!
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Round 2 of Our Lovely Government
Well I got another letter from our Government requesting more information that they already have but want the documents certified, just something else to add to the cost because it is not expensive enough to adopt. I asked them on the phone last week before I drove down there and put the other stuff in their hands if they were sure that I did not need anything else and they assured me I did not. I was just about to explode when I opened the letter thinking it was our approval once again (exactly 1 week later) and it was a request for the same info that they just told me a week ago that I did not need. I had a feeling it wasn't our approval, it's a good thing Jeff was sleeping or I would have screamed at the top of my lungs. I was told that the lady handling our case changed her mind, isn't that nice. I spent the whole morning going to different place and getting these documents certified and driving down to Detroit to once again hand delivery them. I thought the office of Homeland Security would be closed tomorrow but it is not but no one from the Orphan unit will be in, sounds like it's closed to me, so our documents will sit there until Monday but at least I know they are sitting on her desk waiting for her.
Any ways, I hope next time I post it will be good news, we have not heard anything yet but our agency assures me by the end of April, we'll see. It seems like for-ever but it really has only been 3 weeks since our documents have been over-seas and a little over a month since we signed with our agency. I guess Jeff is correct and I am impatient.
Any ways, I hope next time I post it will be good news, we have not heard anything yet but our agency assures me by the end of April, we'll see. It seems like for-ever but it really has only been 3 weeks since our documents have been over-seas and a little over a month since we signed with our agency. I guess Jeff is correct and I am impatient.
Thursday, April 6, 2006
Our lovely Government
Well I was so excited when I checked the mail yesterday to see a letter from the Office of Homeland Security, I opened it up to find a letter from them asking us for more documents not our I-171H that I thought it was. I was expecting it any day and now we hit a little bump in the road. It is nice not working days I was able to take care of it right away and Jeff and I hand delivered them a certified copy of my divorce decree, I sent a photo-copy but I guess that was not good enough even though that is what they asked for, all of our other documents had been photo-copies not original. I think it is just another way for them to have a power-trip orphan unit was transferred to Detroit and it seems like everything goes so much slower down there than in the rest of the state. The letter was so vague that I along with 2 others that read it got confused by what they were asking for but thankfully I was able to get a call in first thing this morning and they only need 1 thing not 5 like it said. So Jeff and I flattened that bump quickly.
Any ways, no other news yet, I spoke with our agency at the beginning of the week about a referral and they said maybe next week if not by the end of April for sure. I hope so it has been a month since they have had our documents but they have only been over seas for about 2 weeks. They told me about a month, lets see how much longer it takes, I really am trying to be patience but trying to be a Mom for 4 years is getting old. I hope I get to post good news soon.
Any ways, no other news yet, I spoke with our agency at the beginning of the week about a referral and they said maybe next week if not by the end of April for sure. I hope so it has been a month since they have had our documents but they have only been over seas for about 2 weeks. They told me about a month, lets see how much longer it takes, I really am trying to be patience but trying to be a Mom for 4 years is getting old. I hope I get to post good news soon.
Saturday, March 25, 2006
Still Waiting
Well there is not much to post, I know for sure our documents are where they need to be. I pray they will match us with a baby soon. I guess there are babies becoming available in the next couple of weeks, so hopefully they will match us with one of them. We asked for a boy or girl under 15 months.
We are ready to leave ASAP and can't wait. Still no news about our INS approval but I think in the next couple of weeks, I can't understand how and why it would take so long we are already in there system from last time.
I do feel so good about our decision to change agencies, the support group they have in place is wonderful. It is nice to be able to post on a private forum to chat with others in the same boat with the same agency.
Well hopefully soon we will tell our friends and family (besides the few that know). Jeff and I thought after last time that it would just be easier to not get everyone involved until it we are ready to go. I know our parents are going to be nervous about us leaving the country because of being harassed by the police in Kazakhstan, that was sooooooo scary.
Any ways, I hope to have great news soon, I cannot wait to go meet our son or daughter.
We are ready to leave ASAP and can't wait. Still no news about our INS approval but I think in the next couple of weeks, I can't understand how and why it would take so long we are already in there system from last time.
I do feel so good about our decision to change agencies, the support group they have in place is wonderful. It is nice to be able to post on a private forum to chat with others in the same boat with the same agency.
Well hopefully soon we will tell our friends and family (besides the few that know). Jeff and I thought after last time that it would just be easier to not get everyone involved until it we are ready to go. I know our parents are going to be nervous about us leaving the country because of being harassed by the police in Kazakhstan, that was sooooooo scary.
Any ways, I hope to have great news soon, I cannot wait to go meet our son or daughter.
Monday, March 13, 2006
The Rush to Wait
Well it has been a week since we signed up with our agency. We ran around getting everything together to be sent to Russia for the wait for a referral. I have no idea when a referral will come in, it could be 2 weeks or 2 months (I pray for 2 weeks). I know from last time around the waiting makes me very impatient. I think I have been doing OK, it has only been a week but it feels a lot longer than that.
In Russia a baby/child must stay on an in country registry for 9 months before they can be adopted internationally, in hopes that a Russian family will adopt them. It is very uncommon for a Russian couple to adopt a child that is not blood related.
I have been doing a lot of research on the Region that our paper work has been sent to and it seems like there will be a lot for us to do. We will not be there very long, the first trip will be 5-7 days and our 2nd 7-10. It is in a mountain region so I am sure it will be beautiful. I know I am not giving out much info on our region or agency but I am scared that our old agency will get to much info and try to sabotage our adoption, that man is evil and I have been told stories about him doing this. I do not know if they are true but after what he did to us it would not surprise me.
Any ways, I hope to be able to post info on a referral soon. My horoscope said I need my passport ready I would be traveling for work, love or both, very strange. I will not be able to post pictures until after our court date, The Russian government does not want their children displayed on the internet. Well enough for now and hopefully we will get our approval from the US government in the next couple of weeks, I have all our paperwork we need for court besides our medical, I will wait to do that until right before we leave because they are only good for 3 months and I wouldn't want to redo them. I pray I can post soon that we have accepted a referral and that we are leaving soon.
In Russia a baby/child must stay on an in country registry for 9 months before they can be adopted internationally, in hopes that a Russian family will adopt them. It is very uncommon for a Russian couple to adopt a child that is not blood related.
I have been doing a lot of research on the Region that our paper work has been sent to and it seems like there will be a lot for us to do. We will not be there very long, the first trip will be 5-7 days and our 2nd 7-10. It is in a mountain region so I am sure it will be beautiful. I know I am not giving out much info on our region or agency but I am scared that our old agency will get to much info and try to sabotage our adoption, that man is evil and I have been told stories about him doing this. I do not know if they are true but after what he did to us it would not surprise me.
Any ways, I hope to be able to post info on a referral soon. My horoscope said I need my passport ready I would be traveling for work, love or both, very strange. I will not be able to post pictures until after our court date, The Russian government does not want their children displayed on the internet. Well enough for now and hopefully we will get our approval from the US government in the next couple of weeks, I have all our paperwork we need for court besides our medical, I will wait to do that until right before we leave because they are only good for 3 months and I wouldn't want to redo them. I pray I can post soon that we have accepted a referral and that we are leaving soon.
Thursday, March 2, 2006
Finger Prints
We went for our finger-prints on Weds. March 1st, that was a big step forward. We have also decided to make the switch to another agency. I feel like I finally have some clarity of what is going to happen. The first agency we picked is great but with what is going on in Russia with the post placement reports and the child abuse cases its scary, they are just not sure what is going on . Things have slowed way down for them and with the other agency things have not. I have a great feeling about the switch,(God, please prove me right).
I am very excited and from the way it sounds things are going to move along pretty fast, we are basically "paper ready". I am driving to Detroit on Monday morning to get all of our documents apostilled and I will UPS next day air them that afternoon so our agency should have them on Tuesday. I do believe they should be in Russia the week of March 6th. I am being told that once I submit our dossier we should get a referral within a couple of weeks, I am hoping we will travel by the end of April. Hopefully we will get our I-171H by the first week of April. I know not to get to excited about anything with IA until it is done, you just never know dealing with a foreign country.
It's going to be an exciting couple of months.
I am very excited and from the way it sounds things are going to move along pretty fast, we are basically "paper ready". I am driving to Detroit on Monday morning to get all of our documents apostilled and I will UPS next day air them that afternoon so our agency should have them on Tuesday. I do believe they should be in Russia the week of March 6th. I am being told that once I submit our dossier we should get a referral within a couple of weeks, I am hoping we will travel by the end of April. Hopefully we will get our I-171H by the first week of April. I know not to get to excited about anything with IA until it is done, you just never know dealing with a foreign country.
It's going to be an exciting couple of months.
Monday, February 20, 2006
I called Dana today to let her know about our finger-print date and she was very happy for us and could not believe how fast it came. Dana told me that she mailed our Dossier to Russia last week so hopefully we will hear something about a referral soon. She said it should take about 4 to 6 weeks to get our final approval.
I am praying that everything will be smooth this time around.
I am praying that everything will be smooth this time around.
Sunday, February 19, 2006
Saturday, February 18, 2006
We thought that our Dossier would have been sent to Russia by now and it still has not, I am sooooooo disappointed in that. Jeff and I thought we had found the right person to help us and as the days go on I am starting to feel like we may have made a mistake. It has been 3 weeks since our home-study was ready to go and our mini Dossier was in Dana's hands and she still has not sent it to Russia. After the first horror agency I will not deal with to much and I will jump ship at any time.
I got copies of all of our documents from Dana just in case, I was reading our home-study and found many mistakes and hopefully Dana will fix them fast and we can move forward, this week after week of waiting to send our Dossier because something might change is getting really old. If there was 1 thing we learned from our Kazakh experience is that anything can change at any time. The laws changed 4 different times in the middle of our adoption from there and we just rolled with the punches but at least we were still moving forward because our Dossier was over there. I guess I can keep going on and on about this, I am just so upset I raced around driving to her house a half hour away 3 times to get her those documents so she could mail out our Dossier the first week of February and she still has done nothing. I told Jeff I was getting upset and I wanted to change to Adoption Ark and he said what ever I thought was best, I decided to give her until the end of next week and if it is still not on it's way to Russia I am going to switch to a different agency. That will be a month of her having it and not sending it out. Waiting to see if something changes is not a good excuse to me, with IA anything can happen at any time.
I did get a receipt from our INS, they cashed our check for $685 but still have not gave us an appointment for our fingerprints. They say it should all be wrapped up within 3 months, so by the end of April we should have our I-171H. I do have our whole Dossier together besides our medical and local police clearance, they are only good for 6 months so I was told to wait as long as possible for them. I plan on doing them in the beginning of March.
I hope by the end of next week our Dossier will be sent and we will get a finger print date. It took us 7 months to decide on adopting Internationally again I do not want to keep waiting and wasting time.
I got copies of all of our documents from Dana just in case, I was reading our home-study and found many mistakes and hopefully Dana will fix them fast and we can move forward, this week after week of waiting to send our Dossier because something might change is getting really old. If there was 1 thing we learned from our Kazakh experience is that anything can change at any time. The laws changed 4 different times in the middle of our adoption from there and we just rolled with the punches but at least we were still moving forward because our Dossier was over there. I guess I can keep going on and on about this, I am just so upset I raced around driving to her house a half hour away 3 times to get her those documents so she could mail out our Dossier the first week of February and she still has done nothing. I told Jeff I was getting upset and I wanted to change to Adoption Ark and he said what ever I thought was best, I decided to give her until the end of next week and if it is still not on it's way to Russia I am going to switch to a different agency. That will be a month of her having it and not sending it out. Waiting to see if something changes is not a good excuse to me, with IA anything can happen at any time.
I did get a receipt from our INS, they cashed our check for $685 but still have not gave us an appointment for our fingerprints. They say it should all be wrapped up within 3 months, so by the end of April we should have our I-171H. I do have our whole Dossier together besides our medical and local police clearance, they are only good for 6 months so I was told to wait as long as possible for them. I plan on doing them in the beginning of March.
I hope by the end of next week our Dossier will be sent and we will get a finger print date. It took us 7 months to decide on adopting Internationally again I do not want to keep waiting and wasting time.
Wednesday, February 8, 2006
I never thought trying to have a baby would be the most difficult or saddest thing I would ever go through in my life. The past 4 years have been very heart-breaking.
We got a call Monday night from a social worker in Nevada about Cory, they informed us we were 1 of 5 families that they have narrowed it down too. Jeff and I spent about 30 minutes on a phone interview. They asked us all kinds of questions like how we felt about a special needs, mental health questions, about our failed adoption and many more. Jeff and I thought it went well and were pretty hopeful. We got a call on Tuesday from them but we weren't home so we had to wait until Weds to find out if they would choose us or not. Well I talked to Becky Weds morning and unfortunately they did not choose us, she told me she really liked what our home-study said and she liked us on the phone and wanted to know if it was OK to keep our home-study for a future placement, I told her of course and thanks for considering us(I really wanted to scream). Once again the disappointment stinks. I know that it was just not meant to be and Cory is going to be with the right family for him.
I hope something happens with a referral from Russia soon and we hear about our fingerprints.
We got a call Monday night from a social worker in Nevada about Cory, they informed us we were 1 of 5 families that they have narrowed it down too. Jeff and I spent about 30 minutes on a phone interview. They asked us all kinds of questions like how we felt about a special needs, mental health questions, about our failed adoption and many more. Jeff and I thought it went well and were pretty hopeful. We got a call on Tuesday from them but we weren't home so we had to wait until Weds to find out if they would choose us or not. Well I talked to Becky Weds morning and unfortunately they did not choose us, she told me she really liked what our home-study said and she liked us on the phone and wanted to know if it was OK to keep our home-study for a future placement, I told her of course and thanks for considering us(I really wanted to scream). Once again the disappointment stinks. I know that it was just not meant to be and Cory is going to be with the right family for him.
I hope something happens with a referral from Russia soon and we hear about our fingerprints.
Saturday, February 4, 2006
Well it's been a crazy week, I tried to put our mini-Dossier and our INS papers together in a day so I ended up forgetting to mail some of the documents. I am so disorganized this time around, I ended up driving to Dana's house 3 times to drop documents off, LOL. I wanted her to have everything to send our I600A in on Monday, January 30th and to get our Dossier Apostilled. I think she sent our Dossier over-seas on Friday, February 3rd if not I hope it goes out on Monday the 6th.
It was an interesting week. I got an email from a social worker (Melodie) in Nevada about a 2 yr old little boy that I inquired about back in September "05" it seems as if they are going to review more people to adopt him. I was told back then that they had stopped taking home-studies for him because of the overwhelming response. His name is Cory and he is just adorable. It is torture not knowing how many other families they are contacting about this little guy, how they will narrow it down and when they will pick a couple for him. I hope they do it fast, he is free for adoption and needs to get with his forever family, he will be 3 in November. I do not like the way this has made me feel, I cannot stop thinking about this boy and it has caused some very long days and nights. I hate that we are ready and he is ready and we can't just go get him, this little man deserves a Mommy and Daddy. I do not like that we have this glimmer of hope and he may not be placed with us. Dana faxed our home-study to Melodie on Feb. 2nd and she told Melodie she thought Jeff and I would be a great match for Cory. I wonder how many others said the same thing about their clients.
Any ways, I'll post again next week. Hopefully we will get a finger-print date soon and we will learn more about Cory. I have been told our INS is moving very slow, it has changed since last time we filed our I-600A, they transferred the office to Detroit, they have 3 people working on orphan petitions and they are moving 10 times slower than they where with just 1 person. It took us 6 weeks to get our approval to adopt last time, we'll see about this time.
Have a great week! I hope I have good news to post soon.
It was an interesting week. I got an email from a social worker (Melodie) in Nevada about a 2 yr old little boy that I inquired about back in September "05" it seems as if they are going to review more people to adopt him. I was told back then that they had stopped taking home-studies for him because of the overwhelming response. His name is Cory and he is just adorable. It is torture not knowing how many other families they are contacting about this little guy, how they will narrow it down and when they will pick a couple for him. I hope they do it fast, he is free for adoption and needs to get with his forever family, he will be 3 in November. I do not like the way this has made me feel, I cannot stop thinking about this boy and it has caused some very long days and nights. I hate that we are ready and he is ready and we can't just go get him, this little man deserves a Mommy and Daddy. I do not like that we have this glimmer of hope and he may not be placed with us. Dana faxed our home-study to Melodie on Feb. 2nd and she told Melodie she thought Jeff and I would be a great match for Cory. I wonder how many others said the same thing about their clients.
Any ways, I'll post again next week. Hopefully we will get a finger-print date soon and we will learn more about Cory. I have been told our INS is moving very slow, it has changed since last time we filed our I-600A, they transferred the office to Detroit, they have 3 people working on orphan petitions and they are moving 10 times slower than they where with just 1 person. It took us 6 weeks to get our approval to adopt last time, we'll see about this time.
Have a great week! I hope I have good news to post soon.
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