I Can't Believe It's Been A Year

It will be one year on Saturday, June 3rd that DH and I jumped on a jet plane headed for Kazakhstan to adopt 2 children, a beautiful 15 month old boy and an unknown baby girl, we tried for 10 months to get to them and finally we were leaving, I thought that day would never come, we were so excited.

26 hours of travel later we landed at 3:30AM to be met at the airport, driven to our apartment only to be told just before our coordinator left that our baby boy
was no longer available. It was so heartbreaking but I knew or at
least I thought God must have had a different baby that needed us
more and they would find that baby for us. Unfortunately for us our
agency had no idea what to do with us and was dishonest . I still can't figure out how they were going to find this baby girl for us when they didn't even have 1 baby for us let alone 2.

We flew to a different Region only to be told nothing was going to
happen there either so after a week in Kazakhstan in 2 different
regions we flew back to the US with broken hearts and no baby, it
was one of the saddest things in my life, a huge loss. This
excitement of finally being a Mother was gone, that baby who I thought of as my son was gone and boy did it hurt.

We later learned that this agency is known for "bait and switch" and
that they have been investigated 3 times by the DA, FBI and the
Attorney Generals office and are now being investigated again, this
not only happened to us but to 2 other couples, all of us within 4
months of each other and ever other couple we met or chatted with had
lost their referral. It's sad that our Government still allows this
man to do business.

Fast forward 1 year and here we are waiting for a referral and
getting excited about being parents again. It took us about 9 months
to get the courage up to trust someone (an agency) enough to try this
again but here we are praying this is the agency to help us unite with
our children. I have to believe that one day I will have
someone calling me MOMMY and the child(ren) that are meant to be a
part of our family was just not ready yet and we were in the wrong
place last year. I am a believer that everything happens for a reason
and sometimes we may not ever know why but there is a bigger plan.