10 Steps Back!

I learned the importance of everything I have been saying about attachment for the last couple of months last night. It is sooooooo important to limit the affection from others down to none for now. That means no touching, caressing, long eye contact or hugs, even if Logan wants it. It is very important for others to re-direct him back to me if he goes in for a hug. I sent out an email with some great advice about this but I think it may have been overlooked. When he try's to hug someone it is crucial for that person not to hug him back, you should look at Logan and tell him who you are and say something like Logan where's your Mama, oh there she is and she loves you very much and she takes good care of you, go give Mama a hug. I know this is a very hard thing to do but it is very important. There should be no engagement from others while he is being fed, getting his diaper change or when there is any other care taking going on. It is crucial to Logan's well being that all of this happen.

Last night we had a house full of people (this was our own fault) and our little chicken man was having a great time, he even went in for a couple of hugs, which under any circumstances should be given in return. I know this is asking a lot but it is very important and it is only for a limited time. Some may say this is a good thing but for now it is not. Logan has only been with us for less than a week and to him we are just 2 people taking care of him. He has had many women take care of him so to him I am just another and we need to change that. He needs to BOND with ME before any other women. So he got way to much caressing even when he tried to move away it was still done, he gave a hug and it was returned. I am upset about this because I have talked to and sent many emails about this out. I guess people really do not respect our wishes so we have decided that we WILL NOT be having any company for the next couple of weeks.

Logan has been doing great with us and forming and attachment to both Jeff and I but it has been less than a week since he became a family member. He really does not engage with others (besides kids) and that is a good thing, for now. Logan has a very strong will and like any other toddler he is testing his ground and trying to figure things out. Of course he is not like any other toddler who has been raised in a home since birth, he has very special needs as far as bonding and trust, just a week ago he was in his home, the only home he has ever known and we took him from all of that. I know what he has now is better but he does not know that, he is to young to understand. He does like Jeff and I and wants us to love on him, YAHOO!

OK, let me tell you why the title of 10 steps back. When he goes into a tantrum he still wants me to pick him up and love on him. I have rocked him to sleep every night with a bottle since we picked him up and last last few days he has started to stare into my eyes while this is happening. Well last night after getting all of this affection from another women, my son did not really want me, he wanted Jeff. That is OK but he has never acted that way before he has always wanted to come to me. Last night it was horrible, I started to rock him with his bottle and he drank it for about 2 minutes never looking at me once, he then proceeded to start beating himself in the head with his hands, kicking his feet and trying to get away from me. When I let him down he grabbed his blankie and curled up on the floor by himself and fell right to sleep. This is why it is so important for others to show him NO affection. I know that some people do not get this because they did not parent their children this way but their children was not adopted at 18 months from a Russian orphanage.

I ask you all to please RESPECT what I am asking and do not hug or caress him and limit your eye contact, Please! His best interest is the most important not anyone elses