Sunday, July 27, 2008

A Little on Attachment

I know that we have been home for almost 2 years but I still like to go and read up on things. I know that L is attached but I am still not sure that he is 100% there. There are little things every once in a while that throws up a red flag. One of the web-sites that I love is www.a4everfamily.org. I was checking things out and I came across this article~

When Family & Friends Don't Understand

Since many of the symptoms associated with attachment problems look like normal childhood behaviors, it can be very difficult if not impossible to explain to friends and family. Some, in an attempt to be helpful, try to dismiss the problems. You hear, “Oh, my son has temper tantrums all the time,” all the while thinking to yourself, “Not like these, lady!” Others try to generalize, “He looks perfectly normal to me,” while you roll your eyes, knowing that he is at his worst only when he is home. Alone. With you.

And then, there are the friends and family who, in the spirit of helpfulness, begin to question your methods, or even worse, your sanity.





Could you imagine NOT getting the support needed from your family and friends in such a difficult time. It is such a HUGE transition for the baby and the new parents they surely do not need any more stress. To get criticized for wanting the best for your baby is a shame. A family should be commended for their efforts not condemned. Who in their right minds would do this? So if you are reading this remember SUPPORT is what every new parent needs no matter if you agree with their methods or not. Bringing a baby/toddler or and older child home from an orphanage is/can be very difficult and is WAY different than bringing a baby home from the hospital. So show your loved ones the support they need even if you don't get it :0)

I think sometimes even to talk to your friends about things your child is going through can be hard because they have not been there. I thank God I have Kim to talk to about things. We adopted our boy's from the same baby-house and traveled together. Our kid's go through some very similar things. So to all of you adoptive parents find that someone who is experiencing things as you are because parenting our kiddo's is A LOT different than the baby brought home from the hospital at birth. Our kiddo's have been through multiple losses in their short little lives.

And here is a pic of my little cutie, man he looks like such a little boy now :0)

1 comment:

Denise :o) said...

I love this post! I see attachment issues daily with my son, who has been home a year and a half. He's a perfect angel to everyone but my husband and myself... worse to me. He only acts up when we are alone. People think I'm crazy. I begin to question and doubt my parenting methods, feeling like a failure. Yet, there are these times where my son is the most precious, loving little boy it makes my heart melt. Definitely worth every extreme tantrum, every spit in the face, every slap in the face, every scratched arm and every "go away Mama" I get from him! ;o)