Things to Know!

I have been following this blog for a while now and what she wrote the other day brought back a lot of emotions. You see we had people disregard that L may have attachment problems and need different parenting techniques than what works for a baby raised in a home since birth. We heard that all he needed was love and he would be fine. Some people even said that within the first couple of weeks coming home he would be fine and know we were his parents. Well if you have ever been in our shoes you know that it takes A LOT longer than just a few weeks.

This woman has 2 bio-kids and one adopted. Here are her words.

Children living in an institution, then becoming adopted and labeled as Post Institutional (PI)- are not the same as children raised in a family setting from birth. It's oranges and apples.....Truly. I realize that the vast majority of people in this world will never understand or experience a PI child.....however, I just want to encourage the people who do encounter a PI child to respect their differences. Prior to bringing XXXXX home, I believed that all children just needed love and consistency.....and I believed that every child could be transformed with enough love and enough consistency. I was dead wrong. This process with XXXXX is a learning process. At times I fail, there are times I fail miserably - but the important thing is that I keep trying. Dr. Knight tells us that what comes naturally as a parent may not and probably will not benefit a PI child. These children are are emotionally delayed, and in many cases their brain development is delayed .....XXXXX spent in an institutional setting are the most important years of his life. Is he scarred for life? No. But he'll forever be a different person because of it - yes. Is the time he spent there THE most important years, no, but respecting his past is crucial to helping his future.


All the things he's dealing with, may or may not be due to him being PI - but in the chance that it's a delay or an issue that spawns from PI - then it's my job as his mom to take every precaution, every step necessary to help him. (I.E. - compulsive nose picking may be his way of sensory seeking, which is common for PI children due to lack of physical and emotional contact during development - on the flip side it may just be a habit - but to just assume that would be neglectful. )

If you know me, if you encourage me - please don't disregard the things I'm dealing with as nonsense....XXXXX is a special child in many ways.......and while boys being different than girls may be TRUE.....you at least need to understand that PI boys are equally as different from a typical boy. If you're truly interested in understanding more, I'd be happy to recommend some reading, or answer any questions to the best of my understanding.